dancing girl

Last Day of School

2009-11-12T17:35:00.000-08:00

went to school late yesterday. looked for pn rafeah. bla di bla di bla bla bleh.

its the last day of school! noo!! i miss them already. And i miss you! will you miss me? cuz i'll miss you guys! be sure to go to the partay next saturday. i dont care whatever your excuse is, you better go. that was for renee.

you hear me renee? and maegan too!

I'm alive!

2009-10-29T05:42:00.000-07:00

so i am finally going to update this dead blog. i killed this blog. i just gave it CPR and it came back to life.

anyway, let me do some countdowns.

2 more days to all american reject's concert.
4 more ays to exam.
11 more days to freedom.

sigh

stupid pn alagesh. i came to school just for her stupid test then she herself didnt come. like what the hell? me,mun ling, ching yi and isabels' reasons to come was because of the stupid quiz. and we showed up for nothing.

but luckily i went also. school was fun!
reaaly fun!

if you know me well, then you should know that i am toooo lazy to even say what was so fun, but maybe yaya and dinA will blog about it so go read their blog.

goodbye. farewell. and good luck to everybody for your exam!

Harish's Party

2009-10-10T18:43:00.000-07:00

Harish pulled out Bubble's hair

How delicious is that?

Howz cutezz iz Bubbles? How cutezz iz 'e?

Look here!

Potluck

2009-10-05T18:53:00.000-07:00

Michelle Tham's birthday 'present'

And Stripperrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Ladies and gentlemen, pls welcome the one and only Nafieq! the Pole Dancer...

no cups? no problem!

The 'Killer' game

The 'Killer' game

Shake shake shake shake a, shake it!

Can I Tell You My Dirty Little Secret?

2009-07-18T05:31:00.001-07:00

Bonjour people!

I'm writting this cuz of you Renee! SHe asked why I so long didnt update, then i said i was lazy then she said "Dont lazy lazy me!"

Yesterday was so windy and cooling. But the wind was really strong. trust me!

It was like in Genting except for the entertainment! And renee saved my life!

BM we did some exercises. Scince copy notes. Rehat. I went to the freind food counter. the aunty wasnt there. I went to the other counter and told them I wanted to buy something. I gave them the money and went over to the other counter. You know those food that are berpecah pecah one, ah, yea i wanted to buy that. The little plastic bags are like in another bag, then you pull them out like a tissue.

If you bought soomething there, you should know.

Once I pulled the little plastic bag out, so many ants started crawling out. And they were like carrying something white.

EGGS!!

oh my god, it was so disgusting. The ants made a nest in the plastic bag.

That gave me the creeps.

Koperasi. Burping Monster was there.

Siviks, nothing la.

Maths. Renee was sleeping. But the teacher didnt come la.

Pn. Poo came! And in 1 period, Shannon asked SEVEN questions. Maegan said the more she asked, the more confused she got. Renee and I were like you actually know what teacher is saying. I seriously lost her after Raja Kechil.

NATD Medallist Competition

2009-07-05T18:27:00.000-07:00

Woke up at eight something. prepared everything and my mother and I went to Kiwanis Hall. We left the house for two minutes only my mom realized she forgotten to bring the comb. She wanted to buy a comb but then dare not take the risk and went back.

Went there. I registered my name and stuff then i went down to the swimming pool and changed at the changing room. Change already then put make up. By that time, Pri and Yen Min came. They went back up to test the floor and I continued to make up.

Pri and Yen came down again and we took some photos. Then what happened ar? Oh yea, they turn on the music for our Bronze Freestyle and three people (including me) danced. Then it was pri and yen's turn. I was number 26 and pri and yen's no. was 74.

The competition started at 1 something and my event was no. 13 while theirs was no. 15. Still a lloooooooooooong time to wait. So we went down to the pool and saw Krystle practising. We watch her dance.

Then, we dipped our hand into the big pool. Pri accidentally step on the longkang thing there, where they like erm.... filter the pool? you know? you go to the poolside and you see la...

anywya, she stepped on it and she peered at it. We saw two cockroaches swimming in there. Two I tell you TWO!!! we scramed out loud and a lady looked at us. We ran into the toilet to wash our hands.

Arggghh!
EEEEwwwwwwwww!!!!

We dare not play in that pool and we check the small one. There was a duck and a BALL. =P

So, thats pretty safe. we wanted to dp our foot into the small pool after our competition. Every fiftenn minutes, we went up to check. Then, it was time.

There were six competitors in my category. One male, five females. My number was the earliest and I had to stnad the first. They announced and we went in and dance. After that, I watched Pri and Yen dance and we sat down, watching other people dance.

Suddenly, one guy approached me and said I had to redance. And I was whinning "Why?" but not that whiny. Cuz I'm really tired. Contestant No 31, Chng May Qing and I had to redance because we were a tie for first place!

I cannot beleive it!

We were tie for first place!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

We redanced again and my mom brought us to the cafetreria to eat. After that, we went back to the pool. We took off our shoes and dipped into the small pool. But i took off one only. Pri and Yen got to walk around and i was hopping. Pri started hopping too. We sat down by the side and our butts got wet. We wore our shoes and continues talking.

Three girls came running and they took off their shoes and dipped in. They went in the small pool then the big one. The smallest girl got her whole self wet. We did not tell them about the cockcroach though.

They were like picking something up from the bug pool. they went away and we examined. It was something round. We ignored it and continued talking. They came down again and this time, they took some balls and floats from the changing room. Their father came and they went away, leaving everything there.

We saw a duck in the small pool and noticed that it was the one from the longkang thingy there. We chacked the bog pool and noticed that there was only one cockcroach left!

We saw something that looked like it was squash ans suspected that maybe when they jumped, they squash it.

Pri and I were walking around the pool when i saw a centipede/millipede craling towards the lonkang. i was screming and jumping up and down. Pri sprayed it with her water. When the butt was still sticking out and it was halfway in, Pri sprayed it again and the whole thing went in.

These place is full of creepy crawlies!

Thenm it was the prize giving ceremony. It was still a tie! for First plaze!

So, there were two no. 1 .

OMG! I still cant beleive it!

Krystle got no. 3, yen and pri got no. 1 too! Sim li got no. 1 for her category. congrats!

To Sim Li and Joey, thank you so much for guiding and teaching me!

Here are some pictures.

Yen, me, Pri

Mr Dewar, May Qing, me, Krystle

Mr Dewar, Yen and Pri

Pri, Yen, me, Krystle

Pictures!

2009-07-04T04:47:00.000-07:00

Ching Yi and Mun Ling

All five of us

My partners and i ( me, yen min, pri)

My grandma and I

My name

2009-06-29T18:06:00.000-07:00

I went to the public library yesterday. i found a book written by MEE!

no la, actually the author is Jill Mansell so i decided to borrow it. then, i browsed some more books and saw this really thick and big book called 'Hope'. i showed it to my mom and she said before i was born, she wanted my name to be Chew Faith. but then made lots of changes so became into this one.

which do you prefer? Chew Faith or Chew Biyi Jill?? ( i know, both of them sound weird too...)

In the end, borrowed 'Hope'. then went dancing.

Monday

During pj, dina and i were outside. then suddenly we heard people screaming from one of the changing rooms. we thought it was something VERY interesting happening in the girls changing room, so we ran as fast as we could.

to our dissapointment, it was the guys screaming.

Bummer.

Then, we practised our drama thingy.

Joined huic hing, renee and maegan to pick up the trash in the field. maegan was far ahead of us.

JIll

A Burden is Lifted

2009-06-27T03:01:00.000-07:00

freestyle exam is over!

Whew!

Ok so yesterday watched night at the musuem two until one o click in the morning. then slept. i got an anonymous sms-er.

woke up. my mom went to school early in the morning to take my bro's report card. ate bread for my breakfast. my mom came back and we went to the saloon at twelve o clock.

it cost RM 45 to tie some stupid plaits. but my mom dunno how to tie the stupid plaits. as in those plait from the tip to the end that one. get what i mean?

so let them tie only la. then my mom slowly learn.

went home and practise for a while more before changing and going to the puchong dance world. they parted the room with lots and lots of curtains. first to reach. practise. then yen and pri came.

we practised and watched them dance. without knowing it, it was our turn. it wasn't that bad. in fact it was kinda fun. saw krystle then wished her luck then quickly rushed to the school to get my report card.

but sadly pn. rafeah already left.

Many days

2009-06-26T07:22:00.000-07:00

Monday

One old guy came over to fix my bro's leaking room. He climbed using the ladder (duh) then i was kinda scared because he can fall just like that and so i did what my dhamma class always teach me to say like ' may he be safe, may he be safe'.

then when i went into the car to got o school, i remembered that i had forgotten to bring my sewing stuff. if i go in to take, i might be late. so, i deided to forget about it.

but on the way there, i was worrying.

then, pn. bachtia came in saying pn sim didnt come and so she will not be teaching us how to sew today, but to teach the teras thing to everybody.

it actually work!!!!

i mean the whole 'may he be safe' thing.

try it!

but if you belief it though.

you are what you belief.

dina didnt come because she was sick. not H1N1. luckily.

i miss you! get well soon.!

today ar?toda-a-a-ay... oh OK.

my dad fetched me to school. saw kai yi outside seven eleven. i didn't dare ask my dad to stop there in case he scolds me so he dropped me at the usual place and i pretended to walk in then when he left, i ran to seven eleven.

walked in. nothing much la, sewing sewing.

during seni harish hurt his finger so we all went and took a look. ching managed to cure it. then he did a fist punch thingy with ching. Edwin was jealous (well, many people say so, including me though) did the thing with ching too.

oh, and ching wore Renee's specs and acted as an old grandma/grandpa.

tomorrow's my freestyle exam. my mom is either gonna bring me to the salon to tie my hair in lots of plaits (since that she don't know how) or she's gonna tie my hair in a ponytail and tie in in lots of plait.

ballet was fun!

____________________________________________________________________________________

even though there are so many people around me
laughing, smiling and having fun
but i still feel something is missing from my life
something big is missing in my life
and i know what it is
i guess i know what it is
it is a true friend
i need a true friend

somebody that can make me laugh until my tummy hurts
somebody that can make my smile reaches my ears
somebody that can make my ears twinkle in the dark

i need a true friend
i need a true friend

Dancing Week

2009-06-16T08:15:00.000-07:00

I'll be dancing this whole week except for Monday which was yesterday. Today hip hop nine to ten. tomorrow personal training with Joey 830 to 930. thursday friday ballet one hour fiftenn minutes. saturday one hour technique class and sunday one and a half hour freestyle class.

*Whew*

lazy to write about today and yesterday though. maybe next time, or maybe i wont. whatever la.

jillllllll

It was HELL!!!!!

Back To School!!

2009-06-14T06:34:00.000-07:00

Sooooooo, went for technique class on Saturday at the Puchong dance world. Pri did not come and i was the first to reach and I was standing there stupidly waiting for my classmates to come.

Yen came. I saw Krystal (Cheryl's sister) practisisng there. Students from all centers of Dance world came so I don't know some of them. There was this really cute guy whom I saw for the first time.

First thing that popped into my head was "Dang, he's cute." but then i saw that he was wearing earrings and then i was "Man, is he gay?" But not every guy that wears earrings are gay, are they?

so, we danced group by group. Joey's gonna kill me on Wednesday for not doing expression.

Went home. sms Joy. She was the the club and the cute "a-mo-lang" that Stella, Nina, Isabel and Ching knows (I guess. I remember telling them.) He was at the club!

NOOooooOOO!! I was at they gym at that moment. But at least I get to look at one cuttie.

=D

I guess thats all for Saturday.

Sunday

Went to Sungai Wang to buy pants for my competition. Then, went to MPH. Bought 'Ransom My Heart' (The one that Mia wrote in the last book of Princess Diaries. It was actually a real book! If you get what I mean.) and 'Where rainbows End'.

I had to bargain with my mom. And i made the offer of paying the expensive one. Dang!

Went home. Played.

Oh and two weeks of holiday passed by so fast. Tomorrow's back to school!

Kinda yes and kinda no.

yea... guess thats all.

Jill

*Sometimes fate just can't stop meddling.*

What to Watch?

2009-06-05T20:42:00.000-07:00

I'm going to pyramid next Wednesday! To celebrate Sue Ee's birthday. Celebrating it eaarlie. Waaaaay earlier.

So, I'm gonna go earlier to book the tickets. But i dunno what to watch. Between

* Hannah Montana The Movie

&

* 17 again

Please help!

Tq.

SCREAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

2009-05-27T05:23:00.000-07:00

*PAnts from all the screaming*

sooooooooooooooooooooooooo.......... its's ooooooooooooooooooovvverrrrrrrrr!

its over! its over! its over! weehoo!

=D

Yesterday, we had bm, kh and pj. during pj, dina and i were laughing. luckily fat ass didnt notice. or she did. whatever.

oh and on the second last day of exam, shawne and brandon were in the class. first they were hugging. ee ling saw and asked "are they gays?" then brandon was taking off his school uniform, but he's wearing something inside. then i said he's stripping. then, they were sitting on a table and shawne had his hand wrapped around brandon's shoulder. then we said shawne is trying to......... .

You get the picture?

I'll up date later. Or tomorrow.

Bye!

Holiday Movies

2009-05-23T18:04:00.000-07:00

Movies that i get to watch during the holidays!

~ American idol episode 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40 ( I know that the season ended, but i didnt get to watch those few episodes.)

~ p.s. I love you (which is a 2 hours movie)

~ A walk to remember ( Heard that it is very touching)

~ The tale of despereaux

and movies that i get to / want to rewatch

~ Marley and me

~ Hotel for dogs

~ Bedtime Story

~ Disaster movie

~ Bolt

~ Inkheart

I guess that's all.

I hope they will keep me busy.

Peace Out!

Movie Marathon

2009-05-18T19:49:00.000-07:00

1) Confession of a Shopaholic
2) Night at the Museum 2
3) 17 again
4) p.s. I love you
5) A walk to Remember

Waiting for the holidays to start....

ninaaaaa!

2009-05-07T20:22:00.000-07:00

Happy
BIrthday
Ninaa!

First, it was B.I. Copied notes in Literature book.

Then Moral. Pn. Alagesh ran.

O=

Nothing much.

Science.

Discussed.

ICTL

Went to Makmal Computer. I was lazy to copy the notes so I wrote my draft for my story.

Asked some opinion from Jo as she had wrote many stories which are really interesting.

Maths

Pn. tiong didnt come. LOL with Renne, Mae, Ching and Dina. Dina sang Love story while i did the actions. as usual, chinged the lyrics.

When we talk about corrupted stuffs, Mae wont really get corrupted.

I haVE a corrupted brain, ( Bernadine kinda corrputed me ), and I corrupted Dina's. We both tried to corrupt Renee and Mae's. We suceeded with Renee, but Mae had an anti-corruption seal.

Whew, she's tough!

I'm used to how you always use people, how you always forget about me, how you never care about my feelings.

And that's a lie.

old song but still loove it :

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

Tagged

2009-05-05T19:19:00.000-07:00

tagged by nina and here's 25 facts about me:

1) i HATE studying
2) i HATE exams
3) i LOVE dancing
4) I LOVE my family
5) i LIKE to hang out with all my crazy friends
6) i'm LAZY
7) i look forward going to school because i can hand out with all my FRIENDS ( aint that the same? o.o)
8) i need to LOSE some weight
9) Pn. fatty with her BIG ass sucks
10) i LOOOVE animals
11) especially DOGS
12) i love watching movies and reading STORIES BOOKS
13) wanna meet movie stars
14) loves singing with my friends
15) im married
16) im a dad
17) i have three wait four children
18) they are renee, ching, mae and mun yee
19) mun yee was kidnapped
20) mae's adopted
21) WE ARE ONE CRAZY FAMILY
22) ee ling's my honey
23) i have a irritating mother in law
24) like PCK too

last but not least

25) i have a corrupted brain

tags

nina
stella
belles
ching
dina
yen lin
jasmine

=D

Hotel for Dogs

2009-05-03T19:11:00.000-07:00

Orphaned siblings Andi (Emma Roberts) and Bruce (Jake T. Austin), who have been forced to hide their ownership of their beloved dog, Friday, as they move from one foster home to another. They deceive a pawn shop to get money for hamburgers for themselves and the dog, but are caught. Their social worker Bernie (Don Cheadle) reprimands them, but helps them to minimize the damage.

They secretly turn a closed hotel into a home for Friday and any other strays they can find. They are joined by a guy named Dave (Johnny Simmons) and a girl named Heather (Kyla Pratt), both of whom work at a pet store; Dave and Andi soon develop crushes on one another. They are later joined by a kid who lives nearby named Mark (Troy Gentile), who likes Heather, although she does not return the feelings.

The kids rescue many dogs, and Bruce invents and constructs many ingenious machines, using parts he steals from his foster parents, to help feed the dogs and provide sanitary facilities, exercise and entertainment to them. The dogs are quick in learning how to use the machines.

Bernie is pleased to tell them they can move from the foster home they hate to a new one that is a few hours away. Even though this may be their last chance to be placed in a foster home together, they decline as they care too much about the dogs to abandon them, but they cannot tell Bernie this reason because they might be forbidden to continue their care for the dogs.

One night while Andi and Dave are at a party, the machines fail and go wild and cause so much noise that the cops are called. The dogs are taken to a pound and Bruce and Andi's foster parents kick them out for stealing, and as predicted they are sent to separate foster homes. The pound prepares to put the dogs down, but Friday escapes and gets to Dave.

The two reunite all of the kids and they decide to save the dogs despite the fact that they are going to get in big trouble. They break the dogs out of the pound and try to lead them over the county line to an animal shelter there that has a no kill policy, but as the dogs get close to the hotel, they turn and run there as that is their home. The kids and a massive crowd of people follow. At first Animal Control tries to take them back, but Bernie, having seen what the kids did, makes a speech in favor of the dogs as the kids rescued so many strays and gave them a home, something he had been trying to do with the kids he dealt with.

With donations from the people of the city the hotel ends up fixed up and turned into an actual hotel for dogs named The Hotel For Dogs. The kids all work there, Andi and Dave kiss, and Mark starts to win Heather over. Bernie and his wife end up adopting Andi and Bruce and let them keep Friday whom they had to hide from all of their foster parents.

You guys should totally watch it. It's really really nice!

Oh and check out this vodeo: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=goix7jFXD9Q&feature=channel

remix of twilight.

ByE

jill

Ha ha, he he, ha ha, ho

Love me hate me, say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy
Love me hate me, but can't you see what I see?
All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy

(love me, hate me)
La la la, la la la la la
La la la, la la la la la

3

2009-05-01T19:57:00.000-07:00

1) Good bye April, Hello May

2) Good bye partaaaayyyy, Hello exams!

3) I really hope things will work out

jill

A rose for your Pocket Part 3

2009-04-26T19:04:00.000-07:00

In Vietnam, on the holiday of Ullambana, we listen to stories and legends about Maudgalyayana, and about fifial ove, the work of a father, the devotion of the mother, and the duty of a child. Everyine orays for the longevity of his or her parents, or if they are dead, for their rebirth in the heavenly Pire Land. We belive that a child without fifial love is without worth. But fifial devotion also arises from love itself. Without love, fifial devotion is just artificial. When love is present, that is enough, and there is no need to talk of obligation. To love your mother is enough. It is not a duty, it is campletely natural, like drinking when you are thirsty. Every child must have a mother, and it is totally natural to love her. The mother loves her child, and the child loves his mother.

The chils needs his mother, and the mother needs her child. If the mother doesnt need her child, nor the child needs his mother, then this is not a mother, this is not a child. It is a mususe of the words mother and child.

WHen i was young, my teachers asked me "WGat do you have to do when you lave your mother?" I told him "I must obey her, help her, keepng then ancestral altar when she has disappeared forever behind the mountain." NOw i know that the word 'WHat; in his question was superflous. If you love you mother, you dont have to do anything. You love her ; that is enough. To love your mother is not a question of marality or virtue.

Please do not think I have written this to give a lesson in morality. Loving your mother is question of profit. A mother is like a spring of pure water, like the very finest sugar cane or honey, the best quality sweet rice. If you do not know how to profit from this, it is unfortunate for you. I simply want to bring this to your attention, to help you avoid one day complaining that there is nothing left in life for you.

If a gift such as the presence of your own mother does not satisfy you, even if you are president of a large corporation of king of the universe, you probably will not be satisfied.

I would like to tell a story. Please dont think that i am thoughtless. It could have been that my sister didnt marry, and i didnt become a monk. In any case we both left our mother - one to lead a new life beside the man she loved, and the other to follow the ideal life that he adored. The night my sister married, my mother worried about a thousand and one things, and didnt even seem sad.

But when we sat down at the table for some light refreshments, while waating for my inlaws to come for my sister, I saw that my mother had not eaten a bite. She said "For 18 years she had eaten with us and today is her last meal here before goignt o another family's home to take her meals."

My sister cried, her head bowing barely above her head and she said "Mama, I wont get married." But she married nonethessly. As for me, I left my mother to become a monk. To congratulate those who are firlmy resolved to leave their families to become monks, one says that they are following the way of understanding, but i am not proud of it. I love my mother but I also have an ideal, and to serve it I have to leave her- so much the worse for me.

In life, it is often necessary to make difficult choices. we cannot catch two fish at the same time, one in each hand. iT IS difficult because if we accept growing up, we must accept suffering. I dont regret leaving my mother to become a monk, but I am sorry I had to make such a choice. I didnt have te chance to profit fully from this precious treasure. Each night I pray for my mother, but it is no longer possible for me to savor the excellent ba huong banana, the best quality nep mot sweet rice, and the delicious mia lau sugar cane.

Please dont think that I am suggesting that you not follow your career and remain home at your mother's side. I have already said I do not want to give advice or lessons in morality. only want to remind you that a mother is like a banana, like good rice, like honey, like sugar. She is tenderness ; she is love: so you, my brothers and sisters, please do not forget her. Forgetting creates an immense loss, and i hope you do not, either through ignorance or through lack of attention, have to endure sch a loss. I gladly put a red flower, a rose on you lapel, so that you would be happy. That is all.

A rose for your Pocket Part 2

2009-04-26T18:15:00.000-07:00

In the West, we celebrate Mother's Day in May. I am from the country side of Vietnam, and I had never heard of this tradition. One day, I was visiting the Ginze district of Tokya with Monk An, and we were met outside a bookstore by several Japanese student who wre friends of his. One discretely asked him a question, and then took a white carnation for her bag and pinned it on my robe. I was surprised and a little embarrassed. I had no idea what this gesture meant, and I didn't dare ask. I tried to act natural, thinking this must be some local custom.

When they were finished talking (I don't speak Japanese), Thien An and i went into the bookstore, and he told me that today was what is called Mother's Day. In Japan, if your mother is still alive, you wear a red flower on your pocket or your lapel, proud to still have your mother. If she is no longer alive, you wear a white flower. I looked at the white flower on my robe and suddenly, I felt so unhappy. I was as much an orphanas any other unhappy orphan ; we orphans could no longer proudly wear red flowers in our buttonholes. Those who wear whoe flowers suffer, and their thoughts cannot avoid returning to their mothers.

They cannot forget she is no longer there. Those who wear red flowers are so happy, knowing that their mothers are still alive. They can try to please her before she is gone and it is too late. I find this a beautiful custom. I propose what we do the same thinng in Vietnam and in the West as well.

Mother is a boundless source of love, an inexhaustible treasure. But unfortunately, we sometimes forget. A mother is the most beautiful gift life offer us. Those of you who still have your mother near, please dont wait for her death to say , "Oh God, I have lived beside my mother all these years without ever looking at her closely. Just brief glances, a few words exchanged - asking for a little pocket money or one thing or another." You cuddle up to her to get warm, you sulk, you get angry with her. You only complicate her life causing her to worry, undermining her health, making her go to sleep late and get up early. Many mothers die young because of their children. Throughtout her life we expect her to cook, wash and clean up after us, while we think only about our grades and careeres.

Our mother no longer have time to look deeply at us, and we are too busy to look closely at her. Only when she is no longer there do we realize that we have never been cansious of having a mother.

This evening, when you return from school or work or, if you live far away, the next tme you visit your mother, you may wish to go into her room and, with a clam and silent smile, sit down beside her. Without saying anything, make her stop working. Then, look at her for a long time, to realize that she is there, she is alive, beside you. Take her hand and ask her one short question to capture her attetion, " Mother, do you know something?" She will be a little surprised and will probab;y smile when she ask you "What dear?"

Keep looking into her eyes, smiling serenely, and say "Do you know that I love you?" Ask this question without waiting for an answer. Even you are thrty or forty years old, or even older, ask her as the child of your mother. Your mother and you will be happy, cansious of living in eternal love. Then, tomorrow, when she leaves you, you will have no regrets.

A rose for your Pocket Part 1

2009-04-26T00:55:00.001-07:00

The thougth 'Mother' cannot be seperated from that of 'Love'. Love is sweet, tender and delicious. Iwthour love, a child cannot flower, an adult cannot mature. Without love, we weaken, wither.

the day my mother died, I made this entry in my journal : "The greatest miisfortune of my life has come!" Even on old person, when he loses his mother, doesn't feel ready. he too has the impression that he is not yet ripe, that he is suddenly alone. He feels as abandoned and unhappy as a young orphan.

All songs and peoms prasing motherhood are beautiful, effortlessly beautiful. Even songwrites and pots witthout much talent seem to pour their hearts into these works, and when they are recited or sung, the performers also seem deeply moved, unless they have loss their mother too early even to know what love for mother is. Writings extolling the virtues of motherhood has existed since the beginning of time throughtout the world.
When i was a child, i heard a simple poem about losing your mother, and it is still very important for me. If your mother is still alive, you may feel tenderness each time you read this, fearing this distant yet inevitable event.

that year, although i
was still very young
my mother left me,
and i realised

that i was an orphan. Everone around me was crying,
i suffered in silence...

allowing the tears to flow,
i felt my pain soften.
Evening enveloped Mother's tomb,
the pagoda bell rang seewtly.

i realized that to lose you mother,
is to lose the whole universe.

We swim in a world of tender love for many years, and without even knowing it, we are quite happy there. Only after it is too late do we bacome aware of it.

People in the countryside do not understand the complicated laguage of city people. When people from the city say that mother is ' a treasure of love ', that is already too complex for them. Country people in Vietnam compare their mothers to the finest varieties of bananas of to honey, sweet rice or sugar cane. They express their love in these simple and direct ways. For me, a mother is like a ba huong banana of the highest quality, like the best nep mot sweet rice, the most delicious mia lau sugar cane!

There are moments after a fever when you have a bitter, flat taste in your mouth. Only when your mother comes and tucks you in, put her hand on your burning forehead ( Is it really a hand, or is it the silk of heaven?), and gently whispered, "My poor darling!" do you feel restored, surrounded with the sweetness of maternal love. Her love is so fragrant, like a banana, like sweet rice, like sugar cane.

Father's work is enourmous, as huge as a mountain. Mother's devotion is overflowing, like water from a mountain spring. Maternal love is our first taste of love, the origin of all feelings of love. Our mother is the first who teaches us love, the most important subject in life. Without my mother, i would never have known how to love.

Thanks to her i can love my neighbours.
Thanks to her I can love all living beings.
Through her I acquired my first notions of understanding and compassion.

Mother is the foundation of all love, and many religious traditions regonize this and pay deep honor to a maternal figure, the Virgin Mary, the godess Kwan Yin. Hardly an infant has opened her mouth to cry wothout her mother already running to the cradle. Mother is a gentle and sweet spirit who makes unhapiness and worries disappear. When the word " Mother" is unttered, already we feel our heart overflowing with love. From love, the distance to belief and action is verys short.

Shame on you!

2009-04-25T01:59:00.000-07:00

went to newstation to buy refiller for my correction tape and a note book. went to school. saw renne, ee ling they all practising at the tree. ( no not dave, or mumu.)
then lavanya ( sorry of wrong spelling) joined us.

went to class. k.h. went to narnia. we saw a goat on a motorcycle.XD

we sat at the one and only table. not one and only, as in a special tabe, different form others. then hui ching was using someone's maarker to draw stuff on her book and then passsed it to belles and stella. then they were drawing some *ahem* stuff.
then exited narnia. went to the canteen. drank milo+teh. not bad la. =)

then hang out with ka yi, yu wan, jess lyn an sue ee. after that, enlish. went to the apd room. teacher taught us about summary. he also told us that he tried smoking at the age of ten.

*tsk tsk* shame on you!.

then seni. supposed to draw a poster to promote something. mine is to promote my bookshop that i just currently opened at narnia, "mars bookshop''. be sure to drop by whenever you visi narnia. thank you!

went to ballet. spent aROUND 15 MINUTEDS TO fix the radio.

bla bla

went home. went online. chat with my sexxyyy friends. then went offline. gotta rest my eys. bathed. then wrote a song about my mom and an am=nimal. you can just imagine how stupid it is.

and my mom's gonna burn the tip of my pen cuz its jammed and he said its gonna work. so we'll wait and see.

waiting
waiting
waiting
waiting
waiting
waiting
waiting
waiting
waiting
waiting
waiting
waiting
waiting

ok, it didnt work. so have to buy a new pen.

jill

what a day!

2009-04-23T07:01:00.000-07:00

today went early to school for the so called 'cheer leading' practise. first to reach. saw one of Amanda's group. then jalan jalan. saw Amanda, Audrey. then finally belles.

put our bag down. then the leader took us out to the oncidium park? its a park opposite our school. then they just simply warm up and wanted us to start. belles had to go back to school to take the choir picture.

she changed and we saw hui ching talking to... Amelia? she was so glad to see us. ;) before that, Isabel borrowed one of the girl's phone. *forgotten her name* to call her mom to fetch us at 11. but then it was her kakak that answered and she wasn't very sure that will her mom believe her.

we quickly walked outside cuz it's kinda creepy that all the form 3,4 and 5 were so humongous. saw Catherine coming in. used her mom's phone to call Belle's mom again. not long, Isabel's mom came. she drove us to the padang there.

we saw lots of girls sitting on the grass, not doing anything. then Hui ching was so freaking mad that she went up to them and asked them what was going on. she asked me to follow and when she was scolding them, i was just standing there.

XD

not long, belles and her mom came down. one of them saw bells in her prefect uniform and she was like "shit! prefect!" and kicked the tree. then later they said that they had the teacher's permission already. if you had teacher's permission, why are you so scared of the prefect?

then later they explained and stuff. they said the competition's one month away! yup, seriously, ONE MONTH! and when Isa's mom asked them to show it. they were just doing some simple moves and stuff.

some of them are from khe beng, my primary school, and on our graduation day, one class performed cheer leading with 'girlfriend'. and they somehow copied it.

please! if you wanna go into the competition. you have to be so much better than that. can they even do spilts, hand spring, bridge, tossing people in the air and cathing them perfectly?

they so need to professional coach. and exams are coming. it's just a last minute thing.

went back home. ate some fried rice and some of ching's spaghetti. i frank more than i ate. rest for a while. went to school. apparently, there's english practise.

o.o

during moral, we took picture. then went back to class. talked to teacher. NO penalty for the stupid door thing! so nina, you dont have to worry.

itcl. teacher didnt copy any notes. then kaverr was crying too. cuz of some lying girl. but youre innocent babe! no worries! smile babe! =D

oh and when teacher sukumaran was taking picture, he wore his suit. then kaverr told him that he looked smart. the i whispered to kaverr " looks sexy." wrong move. actually im just kidding. dun think im those who marry old guys for their money.

kaverr told teacher. his eyes were so bulgy that it looks like it may be able to pop out and second now.

KAVERRNA! you're so gonna get it!

ballet. my ballet class is actually from 730 to 830, then the teacher said gonna change to 730 to 9. no!!! i cant bear it! too tired laaaa! and we practised a little for the concert. there were like so many knee banging on the floor moves.

p
pa
pai
pain
pai
pa
p
pa
pai
pain
pai
pa
p
pa
pai
pain
pai
pa
p
pa
pai
pain
pai
pain
pai
pa
p

~wont somebody try to save me?
wont somebody come take me home? *come at 830 if u wanna save me. in taipan, FAB.*
*sing to avril 'im with you'*

lol. XD

now the not edited one.

~But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open~

Jill~

school

2009-04-22T17:20:00.000-07:00

went to school earlier for the speech thingy practise. teacher sukumaran couldnt find a empty classroom so he took us exploring the school. the paper we were holding was the guide. renee and i were like "ok, as you can see this is 3 Nervilla and you also can see the teacher teaching some students."

lol

the we practised for a while in the bilik sejarah. before that, nafieq, belles, jaz, porvin and i were talking and suddenly nafieq asked whther was i wearing ..... . the thing that after somebody takes off his/her braces. isabel... what you all that?

anyway, belles was explaining it and i kept on asking whether do they talk weird and belles said "yes." so i went "that means i talk weird?" belles said "no, he's just pure evil."

seriously babes dude... do i talk weird?

then we practised. i wasnt really paying attention and i didnt hear qao minn said "scream" so now, when u talk to me, better talk louder!

then, went to class.

noooooo! sejarah!

they bentang-ed something. trying not to fall asleep. then, hui ching sat beside renee at the end of the class and pn. purvanesh said to do something special when we bentang so that it'll be more interesting and when its more interesting, you'll like the subject and when u like the subject youll get good marks in it.

hui ching and renee were coughing. and the teacher was looking at them. i cant stop laughing. until now, i still laugh about it.

LOL!

then recess. hang-ed out in dewan terbuka.

then, geo. copied some notes. went to toilet with dina. say gynett, shawne and shane. smiled at gynett. *<--- correct spelling arh?*

then we practised the speech. maths. did our homework. science. teacher didnt come, so we practised some more. the strong wind kept blowing the door in and dina and i triend to push it out and then the door just broke.

yeaa... it all happened in a slow motion. the dina said we gonna get penalty.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im really sorry guys. i mma talk to teacher later. i dun FREAKING CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

went back. hui ching blew her musical instument thingy and 2 teachers were following behind us. then we were "coughing" again. lol

went back.

oh, and we (belles, ching and i) joined cheerleading.

ginnie a 't'
gimmie a 'e'
gimmie a 'a'
gimmie a 'c'
gimmie a 'h'
gimmie a 'e'
gimmie a 'r'
gimmie a 's'

gimmie a 'a'
gimmie a 'n'
gimmie a 'd'

gimmie a 's'
gimmie a 'e'
gimmie a 'j'
gimmie a 'a'
gimmie a 'r'
gimmie a 'a'
gimmie a 'h'

gimmie a 's'
gimmie a 'u'
gimmie a 'c'
gimmie a 'k'
gimmie a 's'

what do you get?
teachers and sejarah sucks!
but not every teacher.

jill

*im very sorry guys!*

yesterday

2009-04-21T18:03:00.000-07:00

ok erm... not going for cinese class anymore!

then... went to blikik bahasa during siviks. we're have to recite a poem or something like that during assembly. teacher read out 2 essay that was written by qao minn.

wowie! she rock!

then discuss how to change it a little laa...

went back. ate. watched afv. those people were stupid. as in like doing stupid stuff. XD

then went dancing. wasnt in the mood for dancing. reacg home at 1030? went online for a while. checked my email. wrote back to miss choon, my ballet teacher who is now in london and is getting engaged!

i said " we'll go to mcd again and blast the place down with our hotnees!" cuz before she went to london, she took us to mcd.

haha
wonder what her reaction is.

chatted. bathed. sleep.
feeling kanda lazy ...again!

so bye babes/dudes!

do
you
even
know
that
i
exist?

ballet exam

2009-04-18T23:48:00.000-07:00

today was my ballet exam. i was woken up by my nightmare. here goes : some how, a parking lot is haunted and i was there too. and there were many people flying around. OH, did i mention that i became a guy? i managed to run out of it and when i saw few mean looking guy, i pretended to be dead. to make sure that i wont go around telling everyone about this, they carved my foot into some weird shape.

then somehow, i met this girl (I'm still a guy) and we fell in love. then those mean looking guys were after me and i carried the girl, running around my neighbourhood. the running around my neighbourhood part was so vivid.

then i woke up screaming for my mom. my brother was watching something on his ipod and he was scolding me (i think). then i slept on the sofa.

the next time i woke up was eight. our neighbour brought some raw roti canai and my grandma had to fry it.

mm-mm mm. so much more better than those from the stall.

then i bathed. my mom tied my hair into a bun. packed everything and left the house. sms-ed tzyy jee, my ballet friend. saw miss yong and priya in the classroom. warmed up and tzyy jee came.

warmed up some more and shermei came. then, the first group came up.

oh no!

we prepared and the examiner ringed the bell. we went in, said good morning, put our stuff by the side and did the exercises on the barre.

moved to center. that's when the horror began. there was one exercise with four balances. i wobbled for all but one. ain't that sad?

D:

but for the others, i did kinda good. i mean the balances. for the other exercises. then changed to character. last to finish changing. cuz i was so smart to forgot about the exam and cut my fingernails. but still managed to take it off.

then, the exam ended! *wheew* i really hope i can get a distinction.

gotta go people.

bye!

loves,

Jill

:: a dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes of designer clothes. a water log stick will do just fine. a dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, smart or dumb. in their heart, they'll give you this.

how many people can you say that about? how many people can make you feel rare and special?how many people can make you feel EXTRAORDINARY? ::

*adapted from Marley and Me*

yesterday and today

2009-04-18T05:50:00.000-07:00

YESTERDAY

~ followed teacher out. didnt know why at first, then found out later. pn. rafeah asked us to help her change the banner from the basketball competition to the penyampaian hadiah. it was so feaking sunny that time. i think its around four something. we kept pestering pn. rafeah to bring us to 7-11 to buy us SLURRRRPEEEEE but she said she had only three bucks.

D;

then erm... harish and alex went up first, but we ( dina and i ) rest in the dewan terbuka. some teachers were arranging the chairs for tomorrow (which is saturday) and they asked us to help. so we help lo.

erm... then seni... just copy some notes. then hui ching came over. i think she was singing 'that;s not my name' by 'the ting-tings'. maegan and renee find it disturbing cuz the singer's like shaking her head? not shaking la... erm... nodding real hard.

i didnt notice that.

and hui ching did that too.

lol

her hair was flying all over.

then ee ling showed us the choral speaking paper.

hui ching started with "good morning ladies and gentlemen..."

renee changed it to " good morning ladies and getlemen, pondans and aquas, gayyyys and lesbos and our disgusting judges."

hui ching continued. our title for today is "s*x"

followed by me. "first u get n*ked"

"then *toot* *toot* *ahem* censored."

"then the'll be lots of sounds."

that was really perverted... but... oh well

then time to go back. then somebody started pushing the other body and the other body started pushing some other bdies and hui ching's big strong muscular butt came and *thwock* hit me in the stomach.

it actually hurt!

i started seeing lights, stars.

hui ching! how do you keep a big strong muscualar butt? any secret formula?

TODAY

~ went shopping for mother's day presents with sue ee and mei poh. first, we bought my mom's presents. i bought her a t-shirt that costs RM 29.90. then bought sue ee's mom's present. she bought a hangbag and costs RM 35? then makan.

we went to pizza hut. i forgotten how we strated talking about the topic, but sue ee whispered the word 'condom'. mei poh was like "CONDOM ar?" we were laughing and covering our face, pretending not to know her. but that wont work right?

you dont know somebody and you're talking, laughing and sitting together with her?

then paid the bill and went some where in pyramid to meet lam feng. i dont even know him but sue ee and mei poh likes and adores him. while he was like talking, i sat in front of Speedy, watching whatever movie was on.

then i looked for her and they were lining up for lam feng to sign their poster. and sue ee was talking to a stranger. i whispered to mei poh, "whos that?" and she said sue ee's new friend.

the guy just approached them and asked sue ee whether they had any picture of him. then, they were exchanging pictures and videos. the guy asked sue ee to wait for him after signing to exhange more pictures.

but after that, we totally forgotten about it. we took some pictures. as in like at the shop there. we took twice! cuz mei poh had a ticket and the second time was half-price.

then bought present for mei poh's mom. then went mcd.

we were really fooling around and mei poh and i kinda spit some coke out. we were laughing so hard. i know, it's dissssgusting but... we cant help it. and sue ee said she got pe. but she drank cold water. then mei poh was like . "you got PE....?"

we were doing that cover-your-face-thing again. xP

fetched mei poh back. while waiting for my dad, mei poh and i saw some people from the radio station 988. (sue ee went back already) and they were asking questions and giving out some prizes. we got some.

ate dinner. went back. waited for my aunt and family to come back from their dinner.

*whew* real tiring. especially when i was wearing high heels. gotta sleep earlier. ballet exam's tomorrow.

signing off.

z
zz
zzz
zzzz
zzzzz
zzzzzz
zzzzzzz
zzzzzzzz
zzzzzzz
zzzzzz
zzzzz
zzzz
zzz
zz
z
zz
zzz
zzzz
zzzzz
zzzzzz
zzzzzzz
zzzzzzzz
zzzzzzz
zzzzzz
zzzzz
zzzz
zzz
zz
z

They call me 'hell'
They call me 'Stacey'
They call me 'her'
They call me 'Jane'

That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name

yesterday

2009-04-15T18:03:00.000-07:00

havent been updating for weeks. feeling kinda lazy. went to school as usual. there's a basketball tournament held in our school, so we have to kumpul in the canteen. urghh! its so hot!

yesterday, yesterday, yesterday. choral speaking competition. our school lost but work harder next year, babes!/dudes! you can do it!

ching yi, mun ling, renee and i were fooling aileen, teaching her the wrong chinese. she have a high pitched laugh, something like jui ching's hyena laugh.

recess. michelle had sun burn!

geo teacher didnt come, so we watched 'The Host'.

there was one part where the dad went to kill the monster himself. his look before leaving his family was so chun. his son told him that there's one bullet left, but actually there were none. then the dad turned around and gave one last wave at his family before being killed by the monster. some military people got to his dad and the careless son -the one telling there's one bullet left- couldnt bear to leave him and ran back to his dad's side.

i nearly cried at that part. and we were just in time to go home.

some part of my life is missing, some part of it i perfect.

some part of it is screwed and torn up, some part of it is perfectly nailed and sewn.

3 days

2009-04-02T18:24:00.000-07:00

31/3/09

my dad's car got dented by mat rempits. my dad was on the way to pick me up when the accident happened. he was cornering and i guess those mat rempits couldnt control and banged into my dad's car. the tyre was flttened and there was a really huge dent and the left side mirror flew to who-knows-where. so my dad got down. the motorcyclist had a really deep cut until he can see the bone. my dad only managed to copy down his nnumber plate. then he went to the police.

1/4/09
april fool!
i got fooled a few times. i brought my stabilo coloureed pen to school and it was leaking. and my baju also kena. luckily my mom didnt scold me. and one guy passed by. he looked into our class and continued walking. so i was like 'watcha looking at.' i didnt mean for him to hear, but when i said that, another guy followed behind him and was looking at me! or at our class. so i was saying watcha looking at to the second guy.

omgeeee!

2/4/09

we have a family tree!

i'm the dad and ee ling's my honey and she gave birth to hui ching and hui jing, which is renee. but renee is 2 days younger than hui ching. mun yee is our long-lost daughter. so, ee ling actually gave birth to triplets. dina is my mother-in-law.
nina and stella are my sisters. and somehow, they got married and belles and jazryn are their daughters.

FUUUN!

2009-03-30T06:04:00.000-07:00

went hui ching's house to celebrate. first to reach. ^.^ played some game and looked at some really funny pictures. catherine then mun yee then Jaz.... ( i think ) there were ten of us altogether.

waited for most of us to arrive. Then jumped into the pool! first to go in!( i think )but the water was freezing cold. at first, stella, jaz and ee ling didnt go in. so we were slpashing them. ee ling and jaz did a wrong thing to wear a white shirt.

the far end was real deep. stand on my tip toe but the water still reached my mouth. her dad was taking lots of photos. her neighbour were boys. then they were like looking over..? so hui ching was like 'what? looking at the smexxie girls next door arh?'

lol..!

then, she brought the float over. everybody was rushing to get up on it. once, i think the six of us managed to get on it. then, the center started sinking. whle thing flipped over.... just like titanic.

then, climbed up the rocks. jumped down. real fun!

WHEE!

then, mandi. combed our hair. then makan. yum yum! then her dad showed us the photo that he took.

oh man! i looked so ridiculous in some of them.

oh well. *sighz*

and we ate the cake made by her mom.

mm-mmmmm good!

then watched twilight. watched it for like 3 times already? *sighz* but still... enjoy it. then earth hour. switched off the lights. her dad was there eating his chicken, so he switched on the lights and hui ching turned the lights on again.

XD

after watching and earth hour ended, roasted marshmallows. took photo. played truth or dare. found out who belles likey.

then dont know how belles cut her hand. then hui ching was like edward in twilight, sucking the venom out. then stella was like stop hui ching you're killing her!

haha! ;)

then hui ching opened her presents.

and camwhored!

then stella accidentally broke something thhingy. scraped the wax off. then stella and me were the only one left. went to the small table outside and played with wax~ !

then went to fetch my bro. reached home at 12 am.

whew!

fun day fun day!

as usual... all the photos are in facebbok. go check it out!

jillalicious

Happy school day! :)

2009-03-24T18:42:00.000-07:00

there was some sort of quiz to prove that we should study maths and science in english ... or something like that. set a was about our background. the questions were really ... weird? it's something like that.

how many pair of school shoes do you have? 2
how many pair of school uniform do you have? 3

mother alive passed away --- alive... duh
father alive passed away --- alive... again duh

how many hours per day do you revise Maths and science.

the answer should be about 15 minutes... but i put one hour... XP

then, during recess, hui ching asked everybody "you want some ball?" we were all laughing.

siviks, the teacher didnt teach. isabel did some tricks on the guys. red circle, blue circle and 'empty'.

i asked kaverrna to do the kiss thingy. then, hui ching was like closing hey eyes and popping them out "AAH!" i dont think you'll get it unless you're there.

then, maths. halfway throught, the fire alarm rang. harish was saving his bag and screaming 'FIRE!"

dina and i wre screaming. XD

then, berkumpul at the padang. on the way, hui ching and i were singing we're gonna die! the girl who has the longest hair in our class, (sorry i duno how to spell your name) asked, "youre gonna die and you're dancing?"

dance the last dance baby.

belles and stella were playing this game. 'slappy slappy game'? so nina and i played our own 'slappy slappy game'.

then, one fireman,i think, put on a fire. and they were like waiting those black smokes to come out before putting it out. and i think they used up the whole thing. so those thing that came out camour with the smokes flew into the air.

you're polluting the air, dumbas*es! open burning, global warming, polluting the air... how smart can they be.

we were shouting and boo-ing.

went tapak perhimpunan. listen to them talk some crappy thing and give some crappy reward.

well, earth hour is this saturday people. better switch off your lights!

today was great!

Bukit Cahaya

2009-03-23T19:43:00.000-07:00

Stella invited me to Bukit Cahaya on 20/3, Went to pick Sue ee thne went to Dewan Oncidium. We were quite early. 20 minutes i think?

waited and waited. and at last stella came. then came josephine. we went there in stella's car.

reached somewhere in bukit cahaya. there, we wrote our name and sticked it on our shirt. then. dont know how or why, we or me started singing 'touch my body'.

then, jo or somebody dared me to song out loud. so i s.o.l. she dared me again to sing it in the boy's grou. but i didnt do that.

after that, we drove to the skytrek adventure park. there i met uncle kelvin. he's real funny. and he's also our photographer.

we went to a hut where we filled in some forms and they helped us put on the harness. then, i had to wear my bag around my waist.

i looked ridiculously ridiculous. i took a picture of it, but then i accidentally deleted it. along with 4 more pictures. D; but uncle kelvin said he will send the pictures that he took. waiting for it.

the instructor taught us what to do before going on the obstacles. the one that we practised on was pretty low.

first, we clim a ladder and walk over a bridge. from there, we swing over to a 'spider web'. we climb the spider web to reach the other platform. then, it's the flying fox.

i guess that's the only thing that i enjoyed.

the actual one was really high. but if you trust the harness, you have nothing to worry. i was so proud of myself when i reached the end.

oh, and halfway thhrough, there's a 'ayam short cut'. ^o^ but i didnt use it.

stella said that she's glad that she went first, cuz she's the first girl/woman to arrive. ^.^

i drank lots and lots of cold water. then i asked uncle kelvin why didnt he play. he said he hurt his knees. i asked him what happened and he said that i kicked him. so i said dint i kick your other leg?

then later he told me the reason but i forgotten.

0.0

poor memory...

then, we celebrated one guy's birthday.

after that, we went cycling. it was real fun to go downhill, but going uphill was real tiring.

then, went exploring. found a bee and spider in stella's car.

went to the four season house. it was spring and the temparTURE WAS 7 - 12 degree.

went home. went for ballet. when i did all the tuck in and pull up, i didnt feel a thing. my muscles must have went crazy.

it was a really fun but tiring day.

it's PICTURE time! i'm lazy to put, so go to facebook. i've uploaded them in there! and before i end this...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUI CHING!

JILL

school hoildays day 1 and 2

2009-03-16T01:11:00.000-07:00

Happy Holidays guys!

i went to the MPH stock clearance in taman mayang on Sunday. Bought 'Remember Me' by Sophie Kinsella, 'Ready or Not' by Meg Cabot, 'Holiday Magic' by Diana G. Gallahar, 'Invitation Only' by Kate Brian, 'Beware' by R.L. Stine, 'Kristy's Great Idea The baby sitter club in a comic version and P.S. i love u and if you could see me now by ceceilia ahern.

if u guys wanna borrow, just ask me.

day 2.
No electricity!

but for few hours only. reading breaking dawn. wanna finish it!

i guess thast all.

bwaii!

Jill

Smexxie longkang people!

2009-03-15T05:17:00.001-07:00

It was Friday the 13th. (gasp!) but nothing bad happaned to me. its not like i want anything bad to happen to me... but if you're supersticious and all...

i woke up quite late today. Went to school. Wore PJ shirt cuz got gotong royong.

kai yi, her sister and friends and i went out. lepaking. i bought a cold ice thing thingy and shared it with Kai yi.

went in. oh, i suddenly remembered that once, when i was walking in to school. i heard this dude saying " i saved a fish from the pond." o.o

then, i hanged out with my best friends in the Dataran Ilmu.

Went to class. Our ert teacher was busy, so waited for her lar. read Breaking dawn.

then, gotong royong.

we cleaned the longkang! i wasnt doing much, just holding the plastic bag, i wanted to do, but there were not enough gloves to go around so....

Hui ching and renee did the most. hui ching was real funny (as usual). she took in a deep breathe before going down and took some garbage out. And she reapeated the same thing. lawls.

harish was the only guy who really hepled us. the other dudes were giving verbal encouragement by pointing at the mud (which really looked like shit by the way) and said "are those shit?"

after we were done, we took the two bags to throw it into the big rubbish bin behind the canteen.

Phe-ew. it was stinkier than the longkang. then, we were running back, like we were freeor something, shouting

SMEXXIE LONGKANG PEOPLE!!

oh ya!

and we were showing people our wonderful hand. *does the dance move*

Friday the 13 was a funalicious day!

oh, and Gabriel smaelled hui ching's hand. THE hand.

Jillalicious

School school school

2009-03-12T19:02:00.000-07:00

yesterday, as usual went to school. i finished reading 'eclipse', so I'm reading 'chocolate run'. waiting for Kimberly to bring breaking dawn.

went up to class. dina and i started screaming. cuz we were booooored. then, moral. teacher didnt come again. so, we played hamburger. then lalalala. recess. lalalalala

ictl. some computer got GTA. ours dun have. so, we played with paint. Stella and Isa were writing our names with paint, then they set it as the comp's background.

weehooooo!

during maths, went to toilet at the ground floor, cuz the one that we usually go was locked. pn. tiong taught us multiplication of fraction. quite ezzy. then, go back.

we were like 'dude!' and does the fist thing.

at first, it was hey~~. then it was hey babe ( i think ). then its hey babe *clicks*
now, its dude! what's next? hey dube? (combination of dude and babe)

then went ballet. shermei was late, cuz she's also in the afternoon session. and it waas raining har. so, her reason was traffic jam. then, mrs lee was like a dancer is never late blah blah blah. and she asked shermei to leave earlier to avoid the jam.

er...hello? she comes directly from school and she knows that. what does she expect her to do? leave school earlier?

j
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jillalicious
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jill
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Mah Day

2009-03-11T06:25:00.000-07:00

ok, so i havent updated for so long. i feel so lazy. so, anyways, on 9/3, my brother's and mom's friend came.

mei, my mom's friend brought her 1 year and some months son along, Hong Hong. his name is kei hong, but call him hong hong la.

so anyways, he played with our old toy, yellow car. from the name, its so obvious that its yelloow and its a car. then, he kept on looking out, to look at our chicken i guess?

my mom opened the door and we went out. we also let the chickens out. he was so excited. he also liked walking on our uneven lawn. cuz he lives in a condo, so he dont have he chance to do so. then, he went in and came out again. he raised his right arm up, asking somebody to hold his hands, cuz there's like a step at the doorway.

pretty smart eh?

his shoes were kinda difficult to wear, so i helped him wear my mom's slippers. it was kinda funny, cuz my mom's slippers have some heels and he was like an aunty.

then .... nothing much.

oh, and he knows this trick. whenever somebody says 'xiao lao ban', he'll put his arms behind and when he walks, he lean forward a little. just like a little boss.
anyways, upload the pics later.

Mah Day

2009-03-08T09:06:00.000-07:00

Went to a dinner at PJ, Ming something. only me and my grandparents. they were a little annoiying. whenever they tasted the food, they'll like try to guess whats in it, what ingredient they used.

Come on la, just eat and enjoy the food.

and there was this auntie that drinks red wine and another type of wine. she finished her other type of wine. my grandma kept on persuade her to refill the glass. i kicked her under the table.

they want to refill they will want to ask the waiter to do so laaa.

there wasnt much activities and the food is okok only.

reached home at 4. started packing and changing to go for dance class. reached there at around 455. then pri reached. lastly yen. she changed her shoes while we watched the earlier class dance.

li yi or lee yi or li yee came to ask for the newest steps. she had been asking us so many times. and also whenever the teacher teaches new stpes, next week she'll ask again. cant you remember it? no offense if you're reading this.

anyways, Sim Li asked us whether do we take breakfast. i didnt take this morning cuz rushing the stupid folio. so, she was like shocked or freaked out and she said we must always take our breakfast no matter what. then, before she started she kept on repeating, you must eat your breakfast, you must eat your breakfast.

then, we did this exercise. both of us open our legs and then hold each other's hands. one pull the other and noth must touch the floor.

i partnered Krystle or Crystal or however you spell her name. she had and is still learning ballet, so it would be easier. then, we did the mountain. that is we still hold each other's hand and then we put our feet together and straigthen our leg in the air.

get what i mean?

then only we started class.

after that, my mom took me and mah bro to yellow cab. ate four season pizza there. i ate two slices only. my bro was like talking and eating. that made him slow. and that made me frustrated. he was talking about our school staff.

he said that one of his friend accidentally cut his finger pretty deep. so, my bro went to the bilik guru or pejabat to look for first-aid kit. but the staff's attitude was so bad. they just looked at him and said 'tak da'. then dunno how, our discipline teacher went to look and then went inside the headmistress's room and then she asked she said dun have and so she sat down and chat with her.

oooook...

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(hui ching's style)

stellalicious
bellalicious
chingalicious
ninalicious
jillalicious

coolalicious?

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Jillalicious xD

Koko

2009-03-06T23:33:00.000-08:00

today went for koko. so, saw dina and nadiya. then, stella they all. greeted nina at the gate. belles was late.

gynette asked me to lend me my standard six test papers. so it was the club, when to 2 oncidium. at first, they said go to 5 scince 1. it was locked, so we retardingly stood there. then they said go 2 oncidium.

then, the pengerusi stated down everyhting that would be held for the year. he's mah bro's friend, Nirmal. then, they gave us this piece of picture to do some exercise. discuss already, we became emo. well i became.

HAHAHAHA!

then recess. saw nina they all. makan, then when jalan-jalan cari makan. joined harish and edwin. hui ching was sad. o.o

thats like me getting 100 for sejarah. we were sitting at the dewan terbuka. isabel was conforting ching. went dewan tertutup for wushu. we were playing this kejar-kejar game. i was chasing nafieq and he was like doing all these stunts. then did all the wushu thing.

when smc makan with belles, stella and nina. shawne bros were sitting in front of us. but im not so crazy about him already. he's still cute. ordered one roti telur. after paying, we went some shop. belles's mom came ALREADY.

then, my dad came.

the "in" thing

2009-03-06T05:51:00.000-08:00

so, the in thing now is hey babe while doing the hand thing. we does that to evrybody we know.

so what happened?

um... harish sang right round in his baby voice and dina owes him Rm 1. and english some people came out to tell some story. edwin was the first to come up to tell his story.

then... erm.... i duno what to write!

went for ballet as usual. the teacher was in a good mood, so there were lots of jokes and stuff.

kays, i really have no idea what to write. when i thing of one, ill post it straight away.

byezz!

jill

School

2009-03-05T05:10:00.000-08:00

sooooo..... i'm normal again! i dont mean that i had been crazy then become normal. its that i've recovered. but still coughing. *cough cough*

in the morning, i was actually feeling.... excited. to go to school! can you believe it? my name (jill) and excited to go to school had never been neighbours. could never been seen together. but well, i broke my own record.

Muahahahaha!

so, it was raining and my dad drove me up to the small gate. there were some people that were taking their own sweet time getting out of the car.... really pissed offed with them.

met up with my buddies. good to see them again. then, they let us go back to class. Shawne was there, but wasnt really excited. is it fading? o.o

teacher sukumaran asked shannon who didnt come today.

"um... Jill. chew biyi jill."

am i invisible or something?

then, harish's pen dropped. he asked me to get it for him. he was like choo biyi jill. and the teacher was teaching. i was like who? why cant they just call me jill?

then, the same dude is wearing orange underwear! (i think)

then, nina and stella were trying to break this pen into half and suceeded.

and once, maegan and renne was like 'E E E E!' so i said dun worry, ill call the zoo keeper.'

and got back our moral paper. i got 82! the teacher called my name last. before the teacher called arandians names, stella, hui ching and i were holding our hads together. to be exact, we were kinda crushing hui ching's hand. or maybe it was me?

Sorry!

then, during recess, michelle was high! she went HI! , I'M SORRY! and stuff. and i was eating bread and offered nina one. she took one and stared to take a small portion of it, then wanted to give it back to me. i was like no, take it and she was like no you take it.

then i went EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAt it!

and hui ching was like "uh...." and patted my back. LOL. Michelle disease. nina offered mun yee some.

so i guess that's all that happened?

Jill

Pictures of 'My First Competition'

2009-03-04T00:54:00.000-08:00

Me and my medal

Crew of Dance World, Sim Li is the one in white gown

Sports Day Pictures

2009-03-03T21:16:00.000-08:00

Mascot for Rumah Biru

Running

WTF? O.0

Kaverrna

Prize giving

Maegan, Stella and Dina

pengakap marching

Stella and Nina

School

2009-03-02T23:20:00.000-08:00

yesterday went to chinese class. then went makan. but before that went to main pagar to wait for belle's mom to bring her tie. but waited for a long time, her mom still havent come. we went to use the pay phone, but both of them wasnt working.

stella and i went to eat. then, we went to check on Belle. her mom came already.

then, we went to class. shawne wasnt there. i told dina then she said he was in the other class, and i missed him! then, i was talking to hui ching and when i turned around, shawne was talking to jo-yen.

aaaa!

after he left i asked what did he asked, and she said that he was looking for a white bag.

then, it geografi. we got our papers back. i got 71. if only i memorized the fizikal and budaya thing, i would have got an A, *sobs*

moral teacher didnt come again. so we played and hui ching told us her problem. then, went back to class.

lazy to type. got our english and maths paper too. both also got A.

then, one guy wore red underwear.

muahahaha!

we were all laughing.

kays... byezzz....

twee more days to belle's sleepover....

my first competition

2009-03-01T02:44:00.000-08:00

my first competition. and it went out pretty well.

i left school earlier. the k.h. exams verrrry difficult. i didnt do quite many questions. i think im gonna fail this time.

i better prepare earlier and study more next time, if not i might not be able to take part in anything.

i changed and ate in the car. then we took LRT and Monorail. i wasnt feeling really good and felt like fainting because i didnt eat during recess, memorizing moral thing.

i still got to genting without fainting. we had to wait for the 845 bus, and because the 8 o clock bus has only 1 seat left. and it was only 8!

so suckish.

but time flew by, and next thing i knew, i was on the bus, on the way to Genting.

it was very cold compared to last time ( i think). after checking in, we went to our room no. which was 7227.

woke up at 645. prepared and went to Arena of Stars to try out the dance floor.

sim li, my teacher in dance world was also competing in the latin category.

there's this group of japanese girls who are very powerful. they are so young and they can do what those big guy stunts.

handstand, scorpion, perfect cartwheel.... having a really big competition here.

then, i went to eat my breakfats. tooo my number which was no. 48 and when back to my room to put on make-up and stuff.

used a long timedoing that. when to Arena to warm up. sim li got 2nd place. my event number was 32.

when i walked out, i waved. later on, i felt so awkward and stupid. nobody even cheered for me. T.T

the japanese girls were very street. that means they are powerful and wild enough. my energy level is so low. mine is like BUM BUM BA BUm bum ba, while theirs are BUM BUM BA BUM BUM BA...

i got 5th place, which is the last. *sob* but thats just my first competition, just for fun and the experience.

the last event was the hip hop team. one of the group used Nunchucks, which was the team who won. and one team so kesian, cannot dance, cuz thier disc was not working.

when the competition was over, everybody from dance world took a picture together. while waiting for the bus, i ate a strawberry waffle and shredded(?) ice-cream. if you go to 100 yen shop, you'll know what i mean.

p.s.: when i wait for the prize-giving award for my category, the winner (also a japanese girl) eyed me up and down. what's her freaking problem?

p.p.s.: my teacher said she was camwhoring... what does that mean?

p.p.p.s.: there were some really cute dancers.. XP

jill

boring exam

2009-02-26T18:37:00.000-08:00

i don't think my post has to do with the tittle, but still exam sucks!!

about the 'we solved the mystery thing', actually not much. during science, our class went to one place that we never went before. but Shannon, qao min and i were looking for teacher.

then, we went to look in every science lab, every class, but still could not find them. then we went to the right place, but we saw form 2 students standing outside, so we thought that they were going in. we went up and down, and at last saw stella and isabel.

whew. i think i lost around 20 calories already . haha!!

and sejarah damn hard. i was doing last-minute memorization with jazryn and hui ching.

haha!!

really funny and interesting to watch hui ching memorize.

but everything that i memorized didnt come out. well, not all. but those that i didnt memorize came out. sucks man.

k.h. damn hard and boring. need to memorize those tools for what??

AAAA!! one more day to go!

Jill

Exam

2009-02-25T16:57:00.000-08:00

oh man, i'm gonna fail.

b.m. ok ok la. but geografi, i already lost 20 marks!! for the budaya and fizikal thing. all terbalik already. Stella more kesian, she didnt read the tittle properly and she wrote down their short froms.

i think nearly half of our class aslo wrote terbalik. yugen cried because of that. 0.o
and all the girls went to console that poor guy. but, we think (Nina, Isabel, Stella and I) shouldnt do that, cuz in the movie those who cries and who are sad always say ' leave me alone.'

haha. no la. its cuz if you say dont cry, the person will tend to cry more. and its either he's really crying or he's pretending to cry so the girls will come.
who knows? it happens in movie, it may happen in real life.

LOL!!!

when we went to class, we saw shawne and his friends discussingabout some thing. his was sitting on the place where u lean back, u get what i mean???

then we placed his hand on Harish's shoulder as he is his friend. after shawne left, addina and i ( or maybe Stella is also included) touched everything that shwne touched. we were like slapping harish shoulder and he was like sighing....

haha!!

anyways, dun get too stressed over this exam. its only the mid-term and year-end exam that really counts. but that doesnt mean you dont have to study at all.

AAAnd.... two more days to go!!
since that i have to take the k.h. exam and cant leave earlier, i thought of some idea to still leave earlier but to take the exam. and i thought of it. after i finish and check again, ill just leave. no need to wait until 6:40. Weehoo!

*this post includes a lot of broken english and tense and my susunan is kinda weird, thats because ive studied too much.

MUAHAHAHAHA!!

thats what happens when i study too much. all u have to do is understand it. feel free to ask me anything.... about the post....

kays, happy studying

bye...!!

Jill

Exam

2009-02-24T18:08:00.000-08:00

doing my last minute study. i had been busy preparing for my competition (3 more days to go!! AAAA! damn nervous!!) that i didnt do much of study. man, 1 arandians all also so smart. What i'm gonna do? SAVE ME!!

kays, going crazy.

because on friday i have to leave early, but got exam, so i asked Pn. rafeah whether i can take the exam earlier a not. she took me to see the principal and i told her the story. she said i cant take the exam earlier and if i take the exam later, no matter how high my marks are for k.h., it will be counted as 0.

xD
stella was jealous. but she dont have to because:

my momsaid to take the k.h. exam and leave school as usual. so suck-ish la!! havent even studied k.h. so many things to memorize. tools, nails and who-knows-what-else?

i was trowing a trantum all night,(LoL) so i cant concentrate on Geo (which was also part of my last-minute-study), so i went to sleep. z.z

but next morning, i woke up early and study, study and study. i managed to memorize all (i hope) and studied little of boring-Sejarah and Moral.

so, i'm using the computer now, but everybody's offline. busy studying?

anyways, good luck in all ur exams!!

yesterday, Qao Minn, Shannon and I solved a mystery. xD. wanna know? stay tuned for the next post.

Bye!!

Sports day

2009-02-23T02:41:00.000-08:00

Today is our school's sports day. reached the school at around 6:30? saw Renee and Stella. went to join them. saw shawne and shane coming in. Stella accidentally bumped into Shawne. AAA!!!

then, saw Addina. the bus came. we asked the teacher whether can we go up. the teacher said it's for the perbarisan thing only. so, we waited in the tapak perhimpunan. we watched Qao Minn's brother, Isabels' brother and my brother practise their perbarisan thing.

then the teacher came and asked why were we sitting there. we explained and the teacher said that we can actually go on that bus. o.o

so we have to wait for the bus to come back. i asked Stella to save a sit for me. when we came down from the bus, dont know what make us cough and something made my eyes burn.

we were sitting in the front row. saw shawne and shane. they were the pbsm and shawne was running.

the way shawne runs is kinda ... awkward? weird? funny? undiscribepable?

maybe not undiscribepable. his arms are like so tensed, then his head is somewhat bobbing. it was really funny to see him run.

shane and the other pbsm were sitting right in front of us. stella used my camera to take a picture of him. when we zoomed in, he was like glaring? staring at us? with a frustrated look. oh man! he might think i'm crazy?

then mean and evil Stella kept on hoping for someone to faint. well, it's her day. quite a number of people fainted. especially those who were unlucky and had to run under the sun.

there was a small cafe that sells some drink and food. but the food there wasn't very epitizing. we just bought the drink to tahan until we go back.

ok, my eyes hurt now. have to stop typing. i'll continue later, and upload the pics too. Byezz.

ok... let me continue

erm... so we watched them run. i missed all the lompat jauh and lompat tinggi thing. so boring. so we took pictures and listen to songs and send songs.

and then, Y, somebody who said something something and did something something and made me hate him, sat behind me with two of his friends.

then, he didnt have the courage to talk to me and he was like kept on sms-ing me. and then, me and stella kept on shouting, retard and belagak. because that monkey kept on jumping here and there, and once he even jumped over Stella. Stupid guy. just wish he would fall.

so fun shouting all those words at him!! Muahaha! then, he said can we just be friends and stuff stuff. that guy really stupid la! in the beginning, i already said that, then he send me some thing thing, then now he want to be friends only.

If you're that guy reading this, you're really dumb la! give up, retard! i think everybody who is reading my blog will know who Y is.

i wanted to take pictures of nina and kaverrna running, but my brother had to choose that time to use the camera.

after quite a time, was the prize giving ceremony. i was feeling so tired and sleepy, but when i saw shawne receiving one, i was was feeling bright and shine. then, he wore his shades. i tried to take a picture of him, but so many things were blocking.

then , when i think back, he might think i'm crazy. like a paparazzi. why do i always act before i think??? AARGH!

then, i asked them whether do they want to eat at Sri Muda Corner. Addina called her mom and she said her mom wanted to talk to me. ??

She was asking whether where we were going to eat, and stuff that i had forgotten. then she let Addina to eat with us.

we had to wait for the bus to come back. Again!! we waited outside where it was so hot. but we had no choice.

at last, the bus came. we were all pushing and pushing. at last, we got on the bus.

then, we went to eat. i ordered 2 two roti canai, while they both of them ordered one roti telur each. then, shawne and shane came in with their friends.

i was the only one who was eating. (because theirs havent come). he might think i'm a pig! AARGH!

after eating, addina and stella went to 7-elven. but i cant go cause my dad had already arrived.

Wooo. hands and face also kena sunburn. in the evening still have to go dancing.

*Whew* so tired. luckily next day no need to go school.

i think that's all.

Byezz.

Goh Xue Neng

2009-02-20T17:54:00.001-08:00

i'm not sure whether is that his real name

in my previous story, i said that he i'm a geek face right?
then i ask my friend who the mei-belle is that guy, then Desmond a.k.a. 'k' said its my friend, u wanna scold him somemore? i add him into this conversation...

so the fight has just began .... lol

(11:07 PM) {È}ĢXN§: ...in this conversation everyone is prefect -.-
(11:07 PM) jill: huh
(11:08 PM) ★↑拥有美好的现在,就是永远的回: no jill not a prefect
(11:09 PM) {È}ĢXN§: hey,what right did u have say me retard..
(11:09 PM) jill: that wat right do u have to judhe me??
(11:09 PM) jill: judge
(11:10 PM) {È}ĢXN§: coz that a truth .am i right desmond
(11:10 PM) jill: bs
(11:10 PM) jill: then i can just say ure a retard
(11:10 PM) {È}ĢXN§: is that truth?
(11:11 PM) jill: and thats a TRUTH TOO
(11:11 PM) jill: retarded looking face
(11:11 PM) {È}ĢXN§: prove?because of u are 1aranda?
(11:11 PM) jill: i arandians are not geeky lookings....
(11:11 PM) jill: and u have BROKEN ENGLISH
(11:16 PM) ★↑拥有美好的现在,就是永远的回: eh chee syen say u 2 sohai
(11:16 PM) {È}ĢXN§: what broken english... if u think that u are so smart why don u try to teach us
(11:17 PM) jill: y should i teach u... u wont catch up
(11:18 PM) ★↑拥有美好的现在,就是永远的回: chee syen say this conversation call sohai conversation
(11:18 PM) jill: watever
(11:19 PM) {È}ĢXN§: what is wrong with my sentence
(11:19 PM) {È}ĢXN§: can u correct it?
(11:20 PM) jill: now u're asking me to help u?
(11:20 PM) jill: after insulting us all?
(11:20 PM) ★↑拥有美好的现在,就是永远的回: 2 pig is fighting n i am watching
(11:20 PM) jill: 1 bull is watching to be exact\
(11:22 PM) {È}ĢXN§ was added to this conversation. Handwriting is no longer supported because not all participants can view handwritten messages. Handwritten messages will be sent as text.
(11:23 PM) jill: wei... the guy i dunno
(11:23 PM) jill: whats his name?

His name is GOH XUE NENG...
oh, he dead...
ok, this is what the responce i get after telling hui ching they all....

(11:13 PM) *~*Isabel*~*: dunno la..
(11:13 PM) :[§özåï:[: sei jor lor~
(11:13 PM) :[§özåï:[: -.-
(11:13 PM) :[§özåï:[: just jkk
(11:13 PM) :[§özåï:[: xDD
(11:13 PM) jill: cuz if u read my blog, im trying to argue wif that guy
(11:13 PM) jill: he insulted us 1 arandians
(11:13 PM) Ħυı₡ħıиG_¢Rⱥᵶy¨Ā: isabel, translation
(11:13 PM) Ħυı₡ħıиG_¢Rⱥᵶy¨Ā: wad?? reli
(11:13 PM) Ħυı₡ħıиG_¢Rⱥᵶy¨Ā: dats it
(11:13 PM) Ħυı₡ħıиG_¢Rⱥᵶy¨Ā: he's dead
(11:13 PM) jill: ya
(11:13 PM) :[§özåï:[: I HELP U
(11:13 PM) :[§özåï:[: give me ur url
(11:13 PM) *~*Isabel*~*: transalate wat?
(11:13 PM) :[§özåï:[: come
(11:14 PM) :[§özåï:[: since i ntg to do now

stupid guy.... better not let us see him.... if not, he's dead...
(do the dance move that hui ching did)
lol!!

kays, leave a comment pls...
tq

bye

School

2009-02-20T06:36:00.000-08:00

they cheated on me!!
They are Stella, Isabel and Yen Lin...
Well, Isabel tied two when i saw her, then she teid back into one because people said that she looked weird
then when i saw stella, she quickly hid behind Jo...
because she didnt tie two!!
then yen lin said she doeson't know how to....
luckily i brought an extra rubber band...
i tied the two ponytail together...
so what happened?
um...
kh teacher came in late..
the malay and indian boys were trying to speak chinese...
one ,alay guy came up to us and said something bad about us... then we scolded back...
haha...
i think we won...
girl power RULEZ!!
then seni, the boys did the wave thing...
then just now...
my friend 'k' added me, 'l' and two other ppl to announce something...
that 'k' does not like 'j'... not me... another girl... my best friend
then i was like 'nobody said u like her'...
then one of the guy,{È}ĢXN§ said, 'j' is pretty then jil and geh right?
geh is another friend...
then i was so mad at him, because he nvm seen me before so i scolded 'who are u to judge mua??','stupid GXN thingy'
then he was like 'u geek face'
then i used the word that Stella always used U RETARD! and he left the conversation
haha!!

before i end this...
GXN is a retard!!

kays... pls tag me....

Bye!!

2009-02-19T06:04:00.000-08:00

hi!today was kinda fun. we didnt have to study for around FIVE periods!

WOHOO!

we were actually sharing with Eria during Moral, but then the time table changed and the class thing changed too. we're sharing with Vanilla. So sad....

when it was time for it, those so smart people quickly ran out of the class and ran up.

isn't Vanilla the same floor as ours?

the teacher didnt come. so we talked and chat...

isn't talk and chat the same?

then, don't know what made isabel said to tie two ponytails tomorrow. they ( Yen Lin, Stella and isabel) promised that they will. Well, they better. if not, i'm the only one....

the class was so noisy that suddenly Maegan freaked out and shouted, asking us to be quiet.. if the teacher comes up and sees us like that, some thing will happen.

ooooookay....

then recess, what happened?

oh ya... met up with my old buddies.

then science and ICTL. same teacher teaching. everybody made fun of her pronunciation. biology as bio-o-lo-gEE... and her hand writting is like....
she always write the capital 'F'. and her face is like 'EMO'.

worse than Miss Tiong... her english is better than Miss Emo and sometimes Miss Tiong smiles....

so we talk and chat... addina read a joke that consists SEX and GAY... who the hell put that up anyways??

and everybody is like 'EWWW!!'

then yen lin and hui ching announced that we have to bring our nilam book next wednesday or if not they'll be dead...

and harish told evrybody to not bring ...
then hui ching did a dance move. she raised her right index finger and then she did the roll to the side move....

get what i mean?

she did that while saying 'you will be dead too if im dead'... its something like that...

we were all laughing...

go girl!

and poor nina fell into the mud puddle during her latihan...

and when we were walking towards the gate, a guy went up to me and said, 'i have the same bag as yours.'

he saw me eyeing at his black bag which was totally so-not-mine and said, "its at home."

oooooooky.... weird .....

and teacher harin or harik... our previous siviks teacher... when are you going to belanja us??

Fun...

2009-02-12T19:07:00.000-08:00

yesterday, for 3 periods, we watched 'the convenant'.
the main actor, caleb was so HOT!
but i'm like always the last one to be 'infected'... with the 'he's so hot' thing...
u get what i mean?
but so anyways, there were some dirty words and dirty parts, (but not so dirty). we were all laughing.
and there was a scene where caleb was shirtless.
omg... his muscles....
the girls who were actually in love with 'hottie' automacally screamed.
hui ching sat behind me, which was the last row, and she streched her hands out in front of her, reaching for him....
and there was another part where Sarah, who Caleb is in love with, kissed.
and not just a goodnight kiss... it was kinda long...
and the girls were all now Sarah-haters... well, except for hui ching
i was laughing so hard at their reaction... and so were the class...
our geo teacher didn't want to borrow one of her period to our sivkiks teacher, so mr harik came to our class and said " 1 aranda, during the last period, go to the apd room and we'll continue with our notes...."
i was like "WHAT notes?"
and hui ching turned around, "Remember our 'notes'? we have to finish it..."
Oh... that notes...

so anyways... for our sejarah project... our group was second to go out...
talk talk talk....
nothing much....
but kaverrna was pretty nervous...

i really hope we can continue watching it today!!

oh ya... and during recess, we saw hottie and his brother...
they were acting...
we (adina, stella, nadiya and i) were standing by the side watching him....
so now is it HIM or caleb...??
answers... answers...

Project in Isabel's house

2009-02-07T05:17:00.000-08:00

today, we had koko. after koko, i was supposed to follow isabel back to her house to help her with some project: to make 'keranamu malaysia' out of styrofoam for decoration, but they cancelled the wushu class and we went back at 10. WOHOO!

during recess, yen lin and i looked for isabel in dewan bestari. and mr hottie was there!! he was standing so close to me!!

so anyways, i went back .
used the teacher's handphone to call my dad.
went back bathe, ate lunch then went to isabel's house.
hui ching was already there.
we watched a video on youtube and went down.
we ate and went to newstation to buy styrofoam for our project.

on the way home, we watched a lion dance. then, isabel's mom took her brother to his friends house. ee ling had already reached. we went up and did our project.

work, work, work.
while working, we gossiped about somebody.
at last, it was done.
we went downstairs and drank some red bean thingy.
we talked about some stuff and then i ate some nuggets and we went up to clean up the mess.
we were so bored that we started playing with hui ching's hair. hehe.... (actuall, hui ching and i were not bored. we brought our twilight book. but totally forgotten about it.)
she had soft and silky hair. i plaited her hair while the both did some weird hairstyle.
then she went back. we played with ee ling's, isabels's and lastly mine.
the way we tied up ee ling's hair and because she took off her specs, she looks kinda like a japanese girl....
isabel was cute when we tied her hair high up.
we went downstairs to wait.
***

at night, i went online. hui ching told me a suprising news. she told me that she doesnt like 'h' already. well, i was kinda shocked. but that's up to her.
then, i told stella about what hui ching said. and she was like yeah, i dun like him too.
and i was like so now every body's confessing that they dun ike 'h' already?
and stella was like yeah.
oh well....

FUN

2009-02-05T16:53:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was kinda fun. We didn't study during Siviks. During the fourth and fifth class, (which was Siviks) we went to the alat pandang dengar room. We were supposed to watch slumdog millionaire. but the dvd player wans't working.

therefore, we played some games. first, we were supposed to play this. some pupils act out a movie, then the 'audience' have to guess what movie is that. it didn't work out, so we played another game. let's say the first person says 'apple', then the second person has to think of a word that starts with 'e'. later, we played 'simon says'. i won for the first round. but not exactly, because after some ticks, the teacher said, "She's smart. Ok, come out."

I thought that was the end of the game, so I went out. then the teacher said, "I didn't say 'simon says'." Darn. We played the second round. Another girl,Qao Min, won.

During the last period, we discussed the movies to watch next week. The finalists were 'The hills have eyes 2' and 'pink panther 2'. 'the hills have eyes 2' won by 2 votes. it was so sad. 'twilight' went into the semi-final, but not much wanted to watch it.

Twilight

2009-02-01T05:22:00.000-08:00

i've just finish watching Twilight. and i love it just so darn much. i feel like watching it over again. like what hui ching said in her blog, many people said that the show is lousy.

i don't know about that, because i havent finish reading it, but i really love it. especially the part with edward saving bella. edward had to suck bella's blood (watch or read to find out why), but he's a vampire, so he had his strenght tested. (sorry hui ching, i dont know how to describe it, so i copied a little from yours. Sorry!!)

it really is A fantastic movie. it's a must-watch movie. here's our hero and heroin...:

Robert pattinson is born in May 13. he was born in london, england. if you want to know more about him, just go to the wikipedia.

kristen stewart is born in april 9. she's born and raised in los angeles, california. go to wikipedia to find info about her.

i'm really waiting for the following movie, new moon. but they're only producing the movie in March. a long wait.

anyway, go watch the movie!! :)

Chinese New Year

2009-01-26T18:50:00.000-08:00

how was your new year? mine was pretty much the same. on the 25th, we went to Imperial Restaurant for a reunion dinner.

Here's a picture of me and my cousin.

we went to Tesco before going to ah gong's house. my mom bought some packet drinks to bring there. my youngest uncle opened the door for us. we greeted each other and they gave us ang pao. my youngest cousin, tai yuan, was walking up the stais.

not long, they left to the airport. they were going to kota bahru to visit the mother's side mother. not long, another family came, they gave ang pau and we went to my youngest grand-uncle's house.

they had a dog! the last time we went there, they didn't bring it home. it's their daughter's Maniko's dog.

A picture of Maniko, Bali, (the dog) and me.

Some info about Bali and his owner.

Owner: Maniko and Eddie
Name: Bali
Age: 2 years old
Birth place: Shanghai
D.O.B.: July 13
Colour: Yellow
Breed: Labrador

Some pictures when Bali was younger.

Whee!

A family photo

He's just so cute!!

Bali in Shanghai

He was so small, he could fit into a bag!

lifeguard Bali!

Bali's convertible

Bali and his best friend

Wishing you guys...

2009-01-24T16:44:00.000-08:00

Happy Chinese New Year So fast... after that got exam... *haiz* need to study... but then later i got dance competition...

but chinese new year got a lot of biscuits to eat.. hehe... but of course must control la... later cannot fit into the new clothes... haha...

anyways, wishing everybody a Happy Chinese New Year, get lots and lots of ang pau... and have a safe trip home to your hometown or anywhere you guys are going...

bye-bye!! :D

2009-01-24T01:14:00.000-08:00

today, i went to the gym to have a training with my gym instructor, 'm'. i'm taking part in a dance competition in genting on february 28. haha... very nervous le. anyway, practise to the song womanizer by britney spears. quite difficult la... but if can win, then worth it lo.

so, we practise until 12 something like that. then, she took me go makan. i ate nasi goreng and drank 'bandung'. after that, she took me go puchong. she also training a girl who is taking part in a singing competition. 'm' is teaching her the dance steps. she practises in 'siew keem music studio'.

the girl not bad lo. can sing and dance. 'm' also can teach me some new dance steps. nearly half the song already la. after that, we go old town kopitiam minum teh. she and the girl's mother talk about the costume. then, 'm' take me back.

then, i watch 'marley and me'. the book and the movie very nice. like it very much. it's about a dog, marley. you should watch it. ok, bb...

Cross Country

2009-01-22T22:59:00.000-08:00

today we had cross country.
on wednesday, we had latihan already. we have to run 7 km !! so tired but anyways... first, we kumpul at dewan bestari... then got some announcements that we didnt listen to... farah, hui ching, yoke yit and me were looking for one guy. i call him mr. hottie a.k.a. h la. when farah spotted him we were all so excited.

but im not as excited as them la... or something like that. then, we saw another guy that hui ching like, mr w. she didnt see him.. but we did. hui ching is so cute when she's excited and all.

then, they asked us to move to the bola keranjang. all the guys warmed up in the dewan bestari. after they all left, it was our turn. then, we can run already !! at first, i ran with farah, but she met some friends, so i ran myself. on the way, i met Jo, kai yi and khor ni. but they all also ran faster than me. i exhausted!

when we were going to reach school, i met farah and stella. they were also very tired already . at last, we reached the school. yay!! kai yi reached earlier than me. i went to buy teh tarik and some food. then, i chat with my friends.

we weren't allowed to go home yet. so boring!! we have to wait until the prize-giving ceremony ends. *haiz*

so we wait . jia yee, michelle and li ying brought their hand phone. the pengawas saw and rampas it. dont know how they going to handle it lar. at last, the prize-giving ceremony start already lo. 'h' was one of the top 20 runners!! hehe... !!

then they give lots of present out, then they announced the winning rumah. it was 'rumah merah'. *sighs* last year also they win le!! so we went home lo. but the stupid teachers didnt open the gate. they let us wait under the hot sun. typical teachers, always enjoy torturing us.

i and kai yi stood up on the curb. i saw 'h' standing right across of me. haha! i walked out with jess lyn, then met farah and yen lin. i asked for the time, and it was only 12:05.we had to wait fot a long time, so yen lin brought us to dunia didik, which she had tuition there.

we saw 'h' sitting at the mamak stall. AAA!! hehe... it was closed and we walked to the secondary one.
again we saw him EEEEE!!! haha...
we went in and asked permission to use the phone.
they let us. when yen lin was using, farah told me that 'h' looked at her in school. 'h' was just standing in front of her and farah said out loud, "Oh my god, (His name)." 'h' turned around to look at her and farah immediately turned away. after farah called her dad or mom, farah went out, because she told her dad or mom to wait at the school.

we were looking over the receptionist at all the stuff yen lin's teachers's son brought home. they were a lot of food. she told us that the kindergarden had a party. i turned around to see if my dad had arrived and i saw him. AAAEEE!!! kekez...

waited for a while and my dad came.

Poem

2009-01-22T21:40:00.000-08:00

few days ago, my friend, kaverrna, who was sitting beside me, made a poem dedicated to me... or something like that...ok, here goes(but i'm not sure about the first few words):

Her name is Jill,
She makes me ill,
She wants to kill,
Somebody named Lill.

That was funny. Anyway, thanks Kaverrna!! hehe... :p

Colour of Friendship

2009-01-10T01:53:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, the colours of the world started to quarrel. All of them claimed that they were the best. The most important. The most useful. The favourite.

Green said, "Clearly I am the most important. I am the sign of life and hope. I was chosen for grass, trees and leaves. Without me, all the animals would die. Look over the country side and you will see that I am in the majority."

Blue interrupted: "You only think about the earth. Consider the sky and the sea. It is the basics of life. The sky gives space and peace and serenity. Without my peace, you would all be nothing."

Yellow chuckled, "You are all so serious. I bring laughter, gaiety and wamth into the world. The sun is yellow, the moon is yellow. Every time you look at the sunflower, the whole world will start to smile. Without me, there would be no fun."

Orange was the next to blow her trumpet. "I am the colour of health and strength. I may be sacre, but I am precious for I serve the needs of human life. I carry the most important vitamin. Think of carrots, pumpkins, oranges, mangoes and papayas."

"I don't hang around all the time, but when i fill the sky at sunrise or sunset, my beauty is so striking until no one gives another thought to any of you."

Red could no longer stand it so he shouted, " I am the ruler of all of you. I am life's blood. I am the colour of danger and bravery. I am wiling to fight for a couse. I bring fire into the blood. Without me, the eartn would be as empty as the moon. I am the colour of passion and love, the red rose, the poinsettia and the poppy."

Purple rose up to his full height. He was very tall and he spoke with great pomp. " I am the colour of royatly and power. Kings, chief and bishops have always chosen me for I am the sign of authority and wisdom. people do not question me! They listen and obey."

Finally, Indigo spoke, much more quietly than all the others, but with just as much determination. "Think of me. I am the colour of silence. You hardly notice me, but without me, all of you become superficial. I represent thought and reflection, twilight and deep water. You need me for balance and contrast, for prayer and inner peace."

And so the colours continued to boast, each convinced of each of his or her own superiority. Their quarelling bacame louder and louder. Suddenly, the was a startling flash of thunder. Thunder rolled and boomed and rain started to pour down rentlessly. The colours crouched down in fera, drawing close to one another for comfort.

In the midst of the clamour, rain began to speak, " You foolish colours, fighting among selves and trying to dominate the rest. Don't you know that you were each made for a special purpose, unique and different? Join hands with one another and come to me."

With heads bowed, the colours came out to reach others. Rain continued:

"From now on, whenever it rains, each of you will stretch across the sky in great bow of colours as a reminder that you all can live in peace. Rhe rainbow is the sign of hope for tomorrow."

And so, after a godd shower has washed the world and a rainbow appears in the sky, let us remember to appreciate one another.

2008-12-14T21:32:00.000-08:00

Making an effort to help a "lonely" child

Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.

Sandy approached and asked if she was all right.

The girl said she was.

A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself.

Approaching again, Sandy offered, "Would you like me to be your friend?"

The girl hesitated, then said, "Okay," looking at the woman suspiciously.

Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?"

"Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!"

Would you please move your cars?

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may being plowing." Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class."On the way home from the first day of school, the father asked his son, "What did you do at school today?"

The little boy shrugged his shoulders and said, "Nothing".

Hoping to draw his son into conversation, the father persisted and said, "Well, did you learn about any numbers, study certain letters, or maybe a particular color?"

The perplexed child looked at his father and said, "Daddy, didn't you go to school when you were a little boy?"

A bribe for your professor

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $56 change.

I Could Use a Little Money

Dear Father,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love,
Your $on.

After receiving his son's letter, the father immediately replies by sending a letter back.

Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love,
Dad

A lesson about blood flow and circulation

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face."

"Yes, sir," the boys said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "'It's because yer feet ain't empty."

Picking on a tardy student

A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day's lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his tardy pupil.

"And who was it that developed the theories behind communism?" the professor asked.

"I don't know," the student said.

"Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Reebs, you would know," said the professor.

"That's not true," the student replied. "I never pay attention anyway!"

Picking on a tardy student

I will do anything to pass

A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.

"I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...anything."

He returns her gaze. "Anything?"

"Anything."

His voice softens. "Anything??"

"Absolutely anything."

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"

Geography Class

Teacher: What is the axis of the earth?

Student: The axis of the earth is an imaginary line which passes from one pole to the other, and on which the earth revolves.

Teacher: Very good. Now, could you hang clothes on that line?

Student: Yes, Sir.

Teacher: Indeed, and what sort of clothes?

Student: Imaginary clothes, Sir.

Bbq Party

2008-12-14T03:32:00.000-08:00

Kai Yi held a BBQ party at her house on the 13Th of December. I was the last one to reach. She invited Sue Ee, Pxui Ting, Kah Yean, Kai Ling, Anita and Shen Quan.

We all starting bbqing. There were chicken, sausages, friend rice, fried noodles, jelly and some watermelon. After the food were cooked, we started eating. the food were delicious. some sat on the mat that was spreaded on the grass. there was also a tent that was build up by her brother and friends.

we went in the tent to eat. but it was very humid, so we ran out and continued eating on the chair. later on, we saw kai yi sitting down on a chair and she didnt look well. so,we went up to ask her.

it waas that she accidentally cut herself. and she was feeling kind of dizzy because she saw the blood on her finger. wow. that proofs that she can't be a doctor. not long, she felt better again.

later, we played a game. there was a bucket of iced water filled with cans of 100-plus and sarsi.we put our hands into the freezing water at the same time to see who can keep their hands in the water for the longest. for the first round i played, i won and for the second round, i was the first runner up. kah yean was the winner.

next, we arranged some chairs in a straight line. there were 12 people playing. we lined up at both ends. we were supposed to sit on each chairs when the game started. then, when we meet each other, we play 'one-two-jus'.

the one who loses has to go back to their line and the winner continues sitting the chair. if the player from the other team sits ont he lst chair of the other group, they win.

so, we started playing. kai yi, her sister kai xin, sue ee, pxui ting and kai ling were in my team. while on the other team, there were shen quan, kai yi's little bother and his 2 friends, anita and kah yean.

all went well until kai xin's whole bit of her toe nail came off. i don't know how it happened but it really hurts. her eyes were kind of red. she really is great. if i was the one, i'd be crying my eyes out.

after the accident, we didn't continue playing. and next, it was her little brother's turn to be injured. i don't know how it happened but he got a little cut on his gums.

wow, the sibling all got injured in one day. we all joked about it.

next, we listened to some story that was told by her dad. her dad was once a pilot. but now, he's into business. he took many pictures of the people of their life. he showed it to his children to show that how lucky we all are. he said he will show it to us if we sleep overnight in his house.

next, we had a toast. they all poured it into a bowl. they said it was the chinese style. i didin't know that that was the chinese style. after toasting, kah yean went back.

i was the third last to go home. it was a really fun day. :)

Jokes

2008-12-11T18:24:00.000-08:00

Low-Self Esteem
A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.

He went there, sat on the couch, an spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychitrist to make him feel better.

The psychiatrist asked him a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence with a puzzled look on his face.

Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said, " Um, I think your problem is low-self esteem. It is very common among losers."

Better relationship

A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't go on like this."

"What's the problem?" the docotor inquired.

"Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away."

"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you'll have women buzzing all around you."

The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden expression on his face.

"Did my advice not work?" asked the doctor.

"It worked alright. For the past several weeks I've enjoyed some of the best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking women."

"So, what's your problem?"

"I don't have a problem," the man replied. "My wife does."

Scared sleeping

Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. "you gotta help me, I'm going crazy!"

"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"A hundred dollars per visit."

"I'll sleep on it," said Shakey.

Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. "Why didn't you ever

come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

"For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars."

"Is that so! How?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"

Crazy people talk

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.

Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.

The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?" The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing. Patient #1 replied, "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a lightbulb." The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2's face is going all red.

The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself"

Patient #1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?"

Feel better now

Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserved complaining and self- pitying.

She moaned to her mom and brother, "Nobody loves me ... the whole world hates me!"

Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her and passed on this encouraging word: "That's not true, Mary. Some people don't even know you."

A mental hospital

After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office.

"Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck."

"Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr. Haroldson replied. "I hung him up to dry."

You are a chicken

A man runs to the doctor and says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. My wife thinks she's a chicken!"

The doctor asks, "How long has she had this condition?"

"Two years," says the man.

"Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?" asked the shrink.

The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, "We needed the eggs."

Pawprints on my Heart

2008-12-11T04:36:00.000-08:00

I hope that you guys will like it as much as I did.

Chan Kah Yein, Ph.D

Dedicated with love to my Mother and Father,

Mong Kwai Chee and

Chan Kam Loon

And in loving memory of

my childhood dogs, Puffin and Remirth, and my little kitten, Pans.

About the Author

Chan Kah Yein teaches tertiary-level mathematics in a private college in Subang Jaya. She holds a first class honours degree, a Masters and a Ph.D. in Mathematics Education.

Having been a practising Buddhist since the age of twelve, Kah Yein is now a regular Dhamma speaker in the Klang Valley. She was the best student in the United Malaysian Dhammafarers’ 1^stDhamma Speakers Course, and was also a moderator for the 2007 Global Conference on Buddhism.

She is very passionate about promoting kindness to animals as part of her practise of metta, and she rescues stray animals and fosters them at home.

Pawprints on My Heart is a collection of seven true stories from my life. I hope you will enjoy reading them as much as I have enjoyed writing them.

Remembering Puffin and Remirth is a biography of my first dog-friends who saw me grow up from a little girl of eight until I was twenty-two.

Mother’s Day Gifts from Heaven describes my first encounter at rescuing kittens and how love and unrelenting determination can beat the odds.

The Big Rescue Operation is a detailed account of how my friends and I carried out a near-impossible task of rescuing forty-five dogs from being put to sleep at the local pound.

Tiger’s Tales tells how a little cat fosters peace and friendship with other animals, and shows how kindness begets kindness in a loving environment.

Farewell, Little Pans is about the reality of life where we can only do our best and be prepared to let Nature take its course, sometimes unexpectedly.

The Crow in the Drain reminds us that even when we face seemingly difficult situations, we still have choices in life. We can always choose to be a little bit more compassionate and not opt for the most convenient way out.

The Miracle of Vixey tells how faith and compassion helped bring a little one-month old kitten miraculously back to life from the brink of death.

Simple Things You Can Do and Tips for Homemakers are the things that my friends and I practise in our daily lives as part of our ways of cultivating kindness towards the animals who live amongst us. I share with you practical and doable guidelines which I live by, not lofty or theoretical ideals.

If these pawprints on my heart can touch and inspire you to think of ways to be a little kinder and a little more loving towards the many animals who live around you, I am gratified and thankful. Opportunities abound for us to practise love and compassion. We can always do a little better, a little more. We can always strive harder, and higher.

Please help me spread this message of loving-kindness far and wide. Share this book, talk to a friend, lead the way and set an example by doing little acts of kindness and love, in your own way, within your means. Every little bit helps. Every act of kindness that comes from the heart matters, and makes a big and positive difference to the lives of others. You will never know the wonderful ripple effect that it creates and how far it can spread.

May you be well and happy, and may you cultivate boundless love and compassion, and reach out to bring happiness to all sentient beings.

Remembering Puffin and Remirth

Animals are reliable, many full of love, true in their affections, predictable in their actions, grateful and loyal. Difficult standards for people to live up to.

- Alfred A. Montapert

May 1971. Puffin came into my life when I was eight years old. He was given to us by a friend whose dog had just given birth to a litter of five puppies. Puffin was the youngest. He was a mixed Pekinese, a ball of fluffy golden fur. In all ways, he resembled a little lion, the furry Northern Lion of the Chinese lion dance. My brother named him “Puffin” because he was round, like a Puffin bird.

We introduced Puffin to Willie, our cranky old mongrel whose moods were absolutely unpredictable – we never knew when he was going to bite. Willie was kind to Puffin, and Puffin, seemingly unaware of his own age and size, would bully Willie to his heart’s content. The cranky old mongrel did not mind. During Puffin’s teething stage, he chewed on old Willie’s paws and tail, jumping back and forth all over the bigger dog’s body as though saying tauntingly, “Hey, com’on, let’s fight!” Puffin was only the size of Willie’s head, but the two got on pretty well, I would say.

We brought Puffin for all his necessary jabs. Unfortunately, after a few months, Puffin became very sick. The vet diagnosed him as having a congenital and incurable disease with little chance of survival since he was only a few months old. I cried my heart out upon hearing this, but my mother, an ever resilient and a very strong lady, would not give up. She nursed the limp and feverish Puffin day and night. Both of us prayed for Puffin’s recovery.

As a result of my mother’s dedicated nursing care, or her strong belief that he would recover, or our prayers (or all of them), Puffin made an unexpected and miraculous recovery after a few weeks. The vet was surprised, but happy for us. And life went on joyfully.

After two years, my father decided that Puffin should have a companion, so he brought home Remirth. My father had picked Remirth out from a new litter of puppies from the same friend. According to my father, when he shifted the puppies around, this one always snuggled up to the top of the pile. “That shows she’s a leader”, he said. My mother named her “Remirth”, after her Cocker Spaniel whom she had loved dearly.

Now, Remirth was a mixed breed of Pekinese and Pomeranian, but she really looked rather like a little grey rat when my father first brought her home. Puffin accepted the new addition to the family, but he made it known right from the start, in no uncertain terms, that he would remain “The King”.

Remirth accepted the deal quite happily and played the subordinate’s role until…she grew bigger in size. That was when she started pushing her way through at meal times, gobbling down Puffin’s food before eating her own. But the king, being “The King” would not tolerate such uncouth behaviour, and somehow, managed to discipline Remirth to stay away so that the king would have his fill and move away, before she was allowed to approach the leftovers. Well, a king will always be a king, I guess. My mother said it was probably in his genes. Pekinese were the royal dogs of the imperial courts of China.

Remirth loved to play. She would play with any visiting rats, mice and lizards as well as beetles, cockroaches, and a host of other insects. We lived in one of those colonial bungalows with a big garden which had no fence, so sometimes cows came into our garden to graze. Remirth would play with the cows as well, prancing around them, barking at them playfully. Once, to our utter horror, she even played with a huge cobra which had slithered into our toilet. Luckily, the cobra did not bite her.

My father’s friends, Uncle Renga and Uncle Gopal visited often. Sometimes Uncle Gopal would help look after the dogs when we went on trips. Soon, we heard Uncle Gopal speaking Tamil to Remirth, and she responded…correctly!

Puffin, on the other hand, being “The King”, was aloof. He would not allow ANYONE to touch him except for my parents, my brother and me. Right from

Day One, that had been his clearly-laid-down rule. Look at me, call my name if you must, but touch me not. However, without being taught, he somehow knew how to sit up on his hind legs, put his paws together and move them, in a cheng-cheng (Chinese gesture of paying homage) gesture. We never taught him. He just knew, and this gesture won everybody’s hearts. Friends and their children looked forward to visiting us just to watch the little lion-dog do cheng-cheng and reward him with titbits of food. My grandmother was especially taken in by this gesture, and said it was Puffin’s way of paying respects to the elders. Homage was one thing, but I quietly suspected that the moving paws was Puffin’s way of keeping erect and balanced in an upright position, and since these gullible humans found it SO adorable and rewarded him with food for doing it, well, why not continue doing so? Groundnuts was his favourite snack, and that, he got plenty – from the visitors!

Puffin and Remirth got on well and seldom fought. But occasionally one of them (or both, together) would break some house rules, and my mother insisted that they would have to be punished. “Punishment” was putting them into the cage for a short period of time. Soon, this occurred often enough that Remirth (who broke the house rules more often) would go into the cage voluntarily each time she misbehaved, and even closed the cage door with her paw to save us the trouble of doing it. Puffin, the king never did so. I mean how would anyone DARE to punish the king, right? But my mom practised fairness, so when Puffin misbehaved, in he went … by force. Whenever this happened, Remirth would willingly go with him as though accompanying him on his jail sentence. Well, what would you expect - he was the king, wasn’t he? However, after a short while, we would see both of them out- free! We were rather puzzled how this could have happened. So we watch them and caught Remirth using her mouth and paws to open the lock. We tried all ways to foolproof the lock but failed miserably. Remirth was a … Houdini.

My father was in the government service and this involved getting transferred to different towns every few years. Wherever we went, we stayed in government bungalows, and Puffin and Remirth would adjust to the new house. Their favourite spot in every house would be a lookout spot – somewhere for them to look at the traffic outside, while waiting for us to return home from any outing. And wherever we stayed in, it did not take long for the neighbours to be totally enchanted with our dogs. Children (and adults!) would purposely walk by just to see the two cute little dogs enjoying the scenery and watching the traffic go by.

After many years, my brother and I went off to university. We were very sad to part with Puffin and Remirth but we would call back and say something to them on the phone, just to let them know that we were still around, and well. With us being away, Remirth became very attached to my mother, following her every step, looking after her in all ways. She was incredibly obedient and very caring. My mother adored her tremendously. Remirth understood my mother more than anyone else. In every sense of the word, she was my mother’s best friend.

Puffin remained “The King” and kept to his own world. He even had his own little private pent-house, the lower shelf of the television cabinet. My brother called it “Fin’s Bin”, and it had Puffin’s birthday card (which had a picture of a furry dog) stuck on the back. Puffin loved Fin’s Bin, and spent many hours resting inside. He also had claws that seemed to grow too fast, and had to be snipped very often. When he trotted, his claws would make a cute little “tik-tik-tik” sound with the floor. We then would know that our king was approaching. If he was not inside Fin’s Bin, his other favourite place was the coffee table in the living room. He slept ON the coffee table, never mind if there were guests or if drinks were served and placed on the table. The king just sat where he wanted. No questions asked.

Many years passed, and life went on.

On the seventh day of Chinese New Year, on Puffin’s fourteenth year, everyone was back home for the holidays. My brother had bathed Puffin in the morning, and we watched him frolicking in the sun, in his usual cheerful and kingly self. After a few hours, he collapsed. Later, my parents told us that he had collapsed on a few occasions in the previous months, and they had already known that his end was near, but they had not had the heart to tell us. He was not sick, but he was getting very old. Fourteen human years is equivalent to seventy-two dog years.

My father, fearing the worst, brought Puffin into our shrine room. He was very limp and frail. It was all too sudden for us, especially for my brother and me. We both started chanting and hoped that he would recover, but deep inside, I somehow knew his time was up. Our parents came in and chanted with us. Remirth came in quietly, and lay down beside her lifelong companion. We sat around him, listening to his soft breathing, remembering how much joy he had brought us all in those past fourteen years. I had been only eight years old when he had come into my life. Now, I was twenty-two. He had watched me grow up, and now it seemed time to say goodbye.

Puffin breathed his last, very peacefully, surrounded by his whole family, on that seventh day of Chinese New Year – a day which most Chinese regard as yan yat (people’s day). A “good day” in the Chinese almanac. My mother consoled us, “It’s a good day for a good rebirth.”

Uncle Renga and Uncle Gopal hurried over to our house. They cried with us as they too had grown to love Puffin very much. They helped us prepare the wood pyre at the back of our house. We took a last look at Puffin, and stroked his silky golden hair. My brother snipped a few locks of his hair and clipped his claws. Even in death, he still had the very majestic look of a little lion. The King. Our King. We wrapped him in a piece of white cloth, and amidst our soft chanting, we cremated Puffin’s remains that afternoon, with full Buddhist rites.

After Puffin’s passing away, Remirth became very quiet, preferring to keep to herself most of the time. It seemed as though she wanted to suffer in silence, clearly missing her lifelong companion. A few months earlier, she had been

diagnosed as suffering from an ailment similar to stomach cancer, and she was on medication, since she was too old to be operated on (she was twelve, in human years). After Puffin passed away, she refused to take her medication, and we had to coax her before she would relent, but it was quite useless. It seemed to us that she had given up, or maybe she just wanted to endure the pain of losing Puffin and of her own ailment. Only she knew. Our hearts went out to her, but there was nothing much we could do except to be with her as much as we could, and comfort her. She was in pain, and vomited often.

It was on the fifteenth day of the second month after Chinese New Year that same year, barely two months after Puffin left us that Remirth walked slowly into our shrine room and lay down. My father signalled for me to go in, and I knew. I stroked her, and then quickly went to call my mother who was still teaching in school. In tears, I only managed to say, “Mummy, it’s Remirth….please come back. Hurry. Please!”

I went back to the shrine room, and stroked Remirth’s fur. She was quiet and still, but she looked at me, and I said to her, “Please hold on, Remirth. Mummy is coming back to see you. Please wait for Mummy.” She understood. And she obeyed. As she always had.

And my mother came back just in time. She knelt beside Remirth, thankful that her dear friend had waited. By now Remirth was breathing very heavily and irregularly, as though struggling. My mother stroked her silky brownish black fur gently, and bade her to close her eyes. My father and I were chanting softly (my brother had gone back to university at that time). After a few minutes, Remirth turned to look at my father, then arched her neck backwards to look at me – it may have been just for a few seconds, but I remember that moment, and it felt like a lifetime. She looked at me with her warm soulful eyes, and I could feel what she was saying: “I have to go now. I am sorry I cannot look after you anymore. Please always take good care of yourself.” Then, she looked at my mother, and lastly, at the image of the Buddha, and she drew one long, last breath, and closed her eyes for the last time. She passed away peacefully at the ripe old age of twelve (twelve human years is equivalent to sixty-four dog years), after a short battle with cancer, and after enduring the loss of her lifelong companion.

We cremated Remirth, with full Buddhist rites, as we did for Puffin, and later consecrated their ashes together, in a flowing stream. For a very long time, we missed them terribly. No longer would we hear our king’s little trots or be delighted with his cheng-cheng, and we certainly missed Remirth’s mischievous pranks. My grandmother shared our loss upon hearing the news, but she consoled us, saying that they had lived good long lives, and they are now at peace, in a better place. It was very painful for us to remove their toys and their belongings. After all, it had been twelve to fourteen long years. A lifetime. So we kept their things where they were, exactly. Untouched. For many years. “Fin’s Bin” (with the birthday card) is still kept in my parents’ house until today.

One day, after a few years when my brother was back home, something struck him. Having had no training at all in Chinese brush painting, he took up one of my mother’s many brushes, and started painting. What transpired after a few hours, were two beautiful Chinese brush paintings – of Puffin and Remirth. They were so beautiful and life-like, everyone said, and my brother had painted them purely from memory, without referring to any photograph or picture.

These paintings still hang on the wall of my parents’ house now, twenty-three years after the passing of our two very much treasured and lovingly-cherished best friends. Wherever you are now, Puffin and Remirth, may you both be well and happy knowing that we always think of you with much love, fondness and with our deepest gratitude.

Mother’s Day Gifts from Heaven

Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.

- George Eliot

7th May 2006. It was Mother’s Day. I was on my morning walk when I found three newborn kittens by the roadside, mewing pitifully on the wet grass. All three were huddling together. I had never seen such tiny kittens before.

Having had no experience with cats, I hoped the mother would return, but deep inside I suspected something fishy because I knew no mother-cat would leave her babies by the roadside. Still, I remember friends telling me that once a human has touched newborn kittens, the mother might reject them. Or worse, a tom-cat might devour them. Hoping neither of those tragic options would occur, I went home, saying a silent prayer that the mother-cat would return soon.

But I was terribly disturbed, and after half an hour or so, I went back to the spot where I had found them. The poor little things were still there – they had stopped mewing by now. I decided there was clearly something wrong. Quite obviously, a human had abandoned them there. A few crows were already perched on the lamp-post above, as though waiting for an easy meal. I went straight to the shop nearby, bought a packet of milk, went home, got a cardboard box and brought the kittens home.

I did not know how to look after kittens, so I called a neighbour (who kept many cats) for help. She came over, and said she did not know how to nurse newborns because her mother-cats looked after their newborns and would not allow humans near them until after a month. The poor little things were mewing, shivering, and their eyes had not opened yet. They were still in the box, outside the house, and that was because my ten year-old mixed poodle, Bobby, was inside. Cats and dogs are not exactly the best of friends, and Bobby had declared himself king of the house thus far. Even Mac, my other dog, preferred to stay in the backyard rather than incur Bobby’s wrath. And these newborn kittens were no less than twenty times smaller than Bobby.

I rang several animal shelters and animal hospitals. All of them said, “Oh, you can bring them in, we’ll put them to sleep. There is no way they can survive without the mother.” I was horrified, but the officer of the animal shelter explained why they had no choice but to do just that. He was almost apologetic and urged me to understand that at this newborn stage, without immunity from mother’s milk, these kittens would catch the diseases of other cats very easily at the shelter, and die a horrible death. They were too young to be vaccinated; hence there was no protection for them at the shelter. “Putting them to sleep is the most humane thing to do,” he said.

I could not possibly send these poor innocent things to their death. No, there must be another way. So I asked that officer for advice. He was very kind, and he explained to me what I should do, but he cautioned me, “Their chances of survival are VERY slim. The slightest infection and they would die.” He told me that since they had no mother, I had to play the mother’s role by wiping their mouths with a wet cotton wool after each feed, or they would die from a milk rash. I also had to stimulate them to move their bowels and urinate by wiping their tummies and private parts (like a mother licking them) with a warm wet cotton wool. If they did not defecate, they would die from bloatedness.

My daughter, Ming-Yi and I decided we would do our best to look after the kittens. Thus began our day-by-day mission to give these little kittens a chance to see the world.

I named them Cow (for his black-and-white patches), Yeti (brownish-grey stripes on white) and Polar (white body with touches of brown-grey on the tail and head). All big names, I told my children, so that they would have a chance to survive. That first day, we fed them diluted packet milk with a syringe. It was a Sunday, and none of the pet shops was open. We could not even get Polar to open her mouth (at that time, we did not know their gender at all – too small to tell). I sent a frantic internet SOS to all the e-groups I knew – PLEASE give me some advice on what to do! On top of all this, I had to pacify Bobby. Bobby was extremely curious so we let him see the kittens but we could not possibly know if he would attack them, so we had to put the box on top of a cupboard.

We massaged their tiny tummies with wet cotton wool each time after feeding them, and prayed that they would defecate. The officer from the animal shelter’s voice kept ringing in my ears, “They will die if they don’t defecate.” By the evening of the first day, Polar defecated – we were overjoyed. I never knew I would see the day when I was so happy a cat poo-ed all over me!

By early Monday morning (the next day), I had received tons of advice from the e-groups. Packet milk (being cow’s milk) is not compatible with a newborn kitten’s digestive system – I had to buy formulated kitten milk. They had to be fed every two hours, round the clock. But on weekdays, I had to go to work and would only be back after lunch. I appealed to some home-makers I knew if they could please help me babysit the kittens and feed them in the morning and I would take over once I came back from work. Nobody could help.

On Monday as I left for work, I looked at the little things in the box, fed them with the syringe and prayed, “Please….don’t give up. I’ll be back real soon.” I played a CD of the chant of loving-kindness (the Metta Chant), music that had worked wonders on Bobby whenever he was sick. Still, I left home with such a heavy heart, with the animal shelter officer’s voice ringing in my ears – “Their chances of survival are VERY slim.” All day at work, I never stopped radiating loving-kindness to them. Please, please be strong. Please survive. Please don’t dehydrate. They were so small, they could not lick, they could not even move around. Their eyes were still tightly closed

I rushed home immediately after work. As I approached the box, there was no sound. I was prepared for the worst. Summoning up my courage, I held my breath and peered into the box. What a relief….the little things were still breathing and were fast asleep. I ran back to my car, and sped off to the nearest pet shop to buy the best kitten milk I could find, together with a cute little kitty feeding bottle.

Ming-Yi and I took turns feeding them. I would do the afternoon shifts while she (being a late sleeper) would do the midnight shift which sometimes lasted until 2am. And I would take over at 4am the next morning. So we fed them round the clock, compensating as much as we could for the five to six hours in the morning when no one was home.

Then we also prepared their “hot water bottles” – these were pink rubber gloves filled with hot water, wrapped in a handkerchief, to simulate the warmth and comfort of the mother. These gloves had to be changed every hour. The kittens loved the hot rubber gloves and would earnestly snuggle up to them whenever we put in fresh ones. The glove served as their “surrogate mother”.

Each day was a completely new challenge. Each afternoon, I rushed back home with the same fear – are they still alive? Oh please, please….yes. And YES, the little things were alive, and kicking! Day by day, they grew stronger. Day by day, we breathed a sigh of relief that the kittens were alright.

By now, Bobby had become accustomed to them, and would climb onto the table and watch us feed them. He was extremely curious and also seemed very compassionate. As he had lived with us for ten years, I believe Bobby would definitely read our minds. He tried to help – he even found ways to climb onto the cupboard, just to see the kittens. On the eighth day, Polar was the first to open her eyes – they were blue (as all kittens’ eyes are). After another two days, Cow and Yeti saw the world for their fist time, and saw us. Those were the most beautiful pair of blue eyes I had seen in my entire life.

At the same time, I was asking practically everyone I met if they would like to adopt the kittens later. I feared that Bobby would be hostile to them and that I would not be able to keep them. I did not have much help in that area. In fact, I received quite a number of nasty responses too. A few young people said to me, “Why don’t you eat them?”, “Why don’t you let your dog eat them?” I was aghast. I was really sad to know that some young people these days can be so heartless. I felt sorry that they did not have any semblance of compassion in their young hearts – what would happen when they grew up? Still, I was thankful for my many friends who rallied behind me to give me hope and encouragement. The friends from the e-group were really helpful – and these were people whom I had not even met.

After a week or so, we suddenly noticed that Cow could not open one eye. Suspecting an infection and remembering that the vet had said that any infection could be fatal (and contagious), I called the vet immediately to ask for advice. It was 6.20pm, and the vet said she would be closing at 6.30pm. I begged her to stay back and wait for me and she agreed. Driving as fast as I could, Ming-Yi and I rushed Cow to the vet’s. It was conjunctivitis, and quite dangerous for a week-old kitten. It could cause blindness if not treated early enough. The vet said the other two would have already caught it by now, so I had to treat all three of them with an antibiotic eye ointment. At home, we took turns, again, to apply the ointment, and thankfully all of them recovered soon enough. The big blue eyes were shining again.

By three weeks, we let Bobby approach them. He tried to lick them clean, as a mother cat would. It was clear that Bobby had accepted them completely as part of the family. That had been my earlier worry – that he might not. But he proved me wrong – good old dependable Bobby! I did not have to look for people to adopt the kittens anymore. I would keep them.

Among the three kittens, Cow proved to be the leader. Even as a tiny little kitten (by now they were living in the kitchen, in a little pet carrier), he would walk all the way out to the living room, and purr at my husband’s ear to “tell” him that they were hungry. My husband (who previously had not liked cats) had the greatest admiration for Cow. By now, my son, Jia-Wen, had also taken a liking to them. We re-named Yeti “Bunny” because he behaved completely like a bunny, hopping like a bunny, chewing his food like a bunny – he even looked like a bunny, the only thing missing were the long ears! Polar was the most mischievous, prancing up and down, pretty much like a little monkey!

Bobby took it upon himself to be the caretaker of the three kittens.

If they wandered off from the pet carrier, Bobby would carry them back in his mouth and put them back where they belonged. He was behaving exactly as a mother-cat would. Once, Bobby was playing too roughly with Bunny until Bunny decided to “play dead”. Bobby was so frightened, he let out a continuous yelp (as though asking for help) to alert me. I came running out and saw Bunny lying motionless on the floor, but the moment I came near enough, Bunny got up and walked away. Bobby (and I!) heaved a sigh of relief.

The three kittens had won our hearts, as well as Bobby’s. With their close affiliation with Bobby, they soon learnt to do the down-dog (dog stretch) instead of the typical cat-stretch. They also scratched like dogs (with their hind legs). They even wagged their tails and growled. Once, we definitely heard Cow bark! Having been through the toughest time of their lives together, they were extremely protective of each other. If one kitten was to go missing for a few minutes, the other two would go looking for him/her. It warmed my heart to know how much they cared for each other. Cow was always the first to come to the rescue of his siblings. Even at that young age, he had shown what a responsible “elder brother” he was. And as though paying homage to Bobby for allowing them to stay in the house, he was very tolerant and respectful of Bobby. Many times, I caught Bobby bullying Cow, but Cow would tolerate it and never fight back. This has made my husband respect him even more.

I never knew cats were so intelligent – not only are they mind-readers, they can also make me understand exactly what they want. Once, Cow and Bunny went missing for about ten minutes. It was Polar who alerted us. She came mewing, in a really strange tone. I sensed something was wrong, so we went looking for the other two. Upstairs, downstairs, in the toilets, under the cupboards we searched – they were nowhere to be found. We went outside the house (by now, they could already jump out of the window and play in the garden) and started searching. I took the bicycle and cycled up and down the road. Ming-Yi searched all the drains. No kitten. I feared the worst. Then, an idea struck me. I told Ming-Yi to carry Polar and search. It worked. Polar helped by mewing, and within seconds, we heard soft mewing, in reply, from nearby. It turned out that the two mischievous fellows had climbed up a tree in our garden, and got too scared to jump down! Silly us – we had looked everywhere except up!

Each morning, when Bobby and I came downstairs, we would be greeted by the kittens’ adorable little mewing and big brown eyes (from blue to brown now). While I cooked their breakfast, they would wait patiently, together with Bobby. Each day passed so fast, because there was so much to do with the kittens. Sometimes when I watched them sleeping so peacefully, or playing happily and boisterously with each other, I think of the day I had found them by the roadside. Isn’t it funny how life works out in mysterious ways, and what seemed like a burden at first, becomes a source of joy? I am so thankful that I had been privileged enough to have found them, to look after them, and to watch them grow up.

By May 2008, Cow, Bunny and Polar would be two years old, and they are BIG by normal cat standards. Cow is the protector of my whole cat family and still sits on the pillar outside the house to wait for all the other cats to come back at night. At other times, he loves the sofa! Although Cow is the big brother of the family, whenever he falls sick or has any injury, he turns into a tame little kitten who would seek attention quite desperately. Throughout the day, he would be “asking” for ointment to be applied onto his wound (even after it has healed), and during his “period of illness”, he goes upstairs and sleeps on Jia-Wen’s bed all day. We call it “Cow’s Hospital Bed”.

Bunny has made himself the “alpha cat” of the road. He even has his own alley down the road that no other cat is allowed to trespass. He protects the house and has fought off the bully-cat of the neighbourhood (whom we call Bushy because of his bushy tail and his roguish nature) many times too. When Bunny is not reigning in his alley, he would be at home, resting in his favourite pent-house – the washing machine! But he would only go inside if there were sufficient clothes to serve as a soft cushion. He spends hours sleeping inside it. Maybe we should call it “Bunny’s Bin” (reminiscent of “Fin’s Bin!).

Polar became a mother at eight months, and after having dutifully nursed her kittens, she now prefers to spend her days outdoors, but comes back a few times a day for food. Whenever Polar comes back, Wolf and Cleo (her children) would clamour for her attention and affections. The family reunion is a very touching sight. Polar is very fond of Ming-Yi, and would sleep with her on weekends when she is home from university. In fact, the whole “Pole family” (Polar and her children, Wolf and Cleo) has claimed Ming-Yi’s room to be theirs.

When I first rescued Cow, Bunny and Polar, I remember being told that it would be very difficult to hand-raise kittens and that most would not survive past one year, and even if they did, they would remain smaller in size. They would also be more susceptible to diseases because they do not have the immunity from mother’s milk. Knowing this, I am very thankful for each day that Cow, Bunny and Polar remain the healthy and happy cats that they are. I am thankful that love has beaten the odds thus far.

When all else fails, put your faith in love. It works.

The Big Rescue Operation

The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.

- Mahatma Gandhi

July 2006. My friends and I received word that a nearby dog pound had conducted a massive crackdown on strays in the vicinity and sixty-five animals were going to be euthanised by the end of that week. A pet rescue group managed to obtain permission to get some of the animals adopted, but we were left with forty-five dogs, mostly diseased, old, and in pretty bad shape. We already could not get these adopted….where could we house them?

The authorities could not extend the deadline anymore. If we did not transport the dogs out by 3pm that Friday, all would be put to sleep. Word got to (now Venerable Chief) Rev Dhammaratana and he very kindly offered to set up a temporary shelter for the dogs at the Ti-Ratana Welfare Home at Desa Petaling. At last, all was not lost. The problem now was to get the dogs out of the pound, and to the shelter.

I asked around for volunteers to provide transport – vans, private cars, any form of vehicles, please. Unfortunately, hardly anyone volunteered. Finally, I managed to ask my brother-in-law to help us with his small lorry.

Friday, 1pm. Six small-sized ladies gathered at the dog pound, all ready to rescue the remaining forty-five dogs from certain death. Although the enclosures were very clean, most of the dogs were diseased. What struck me most was that they were all very sad and depressed, looking as though they had already surrendered to their destiny. It was a very pitiful sight. Most of them were quietly huddled together. However, some were ferocious, ready to fight to the death. These were the ones who had not given up hope. I knew that these dogs sensed what was going to happen. With their sixth sense, they can sense death. They can sense enmity, and they react. It is just a natural instinct. Looking at these dogs, I was very determined that by hook or by crook, we would have to get them out to safety.

My friends and I talked to the dogs from outside the enclosures, and we assured them that we would bring them to safety. My brother-in-law arrived with his lorry and he even managed to bring some cages to help transport the dogs. Later, another volunteer came with a second lorry.

Our first problem was to get the dogs out. All of them were huge dogs. Many were frothing at the mouth, while some were snarling ferociously. The workers at the pound told us they would use their “usual ways” to get them out. To our horror, they used whips and lassos. They threw the lasso over the dogs and literally “fished” them out of the enclosures. You’d see a dog flying through the air. These were not fish…these were dogs, and large ones too. I felt extremely disturbed at the sight and my heart ached terribly at such cruelty. However, some of the dogs were too smart to be caught that way as they managed to avoid the lassos. By now the dogs had become more defensive and angry, and when the workers went into the enclosures, the dogs reacted ferociously. The workers’ attempts were completely futile. After so much time was wasted, we told the workers to let us into the enclosures. They had no choice but to relent. Time was running short now.

So, the six small-sized ladies went into the enclosures. I was armed with nothing except thoughts of loving-kindness and compassion. I did not even have a pair of gloves. We knelt down and talked to each dog. Some of us spoke in English, some in Chinese. We told them to trust us, and that we were going to bring them to safety. Somehow, miraculously, the dogs “understood” and they calmed down. And slowly, we carried each one of these ferocious dogs, some still frothing at the mouth, mostly diseased, out of the enclosures and onto the lorry. I had never handled such big dogs before in my entire life, nor have I encountered such ferocious creatures face-to-face. Yet, somehow, I did what I had to do, and I found courage and strength to do it. I still wonder today, how a petite female like me had managed to carry those huge dogs onto the lorry that day.

The workers at the pound looked at us open-mouthed. One of them pulled one of my friends aside and asked, “Your friend can talk to animals??” These workers did not understand the first thing about handling animals, even though they worked there. Animals respond to kindness. It does not matter what language you speak, they understand the language of kindness. But they will attack if they sense fear in you. The key is that if you are afraid, do not even attempt to go near them. Steer clear of them. But if you have kindness and compassion in your heart, and you know that your intentions are pure, that should give you enough confidence to approach them. For us that afternoon, we did not even let ourselves be bothered about what kind of diseases these dogs had. We were focused only on rescuing them. Ekagatta (one-pointedness of mind). Metta (loving-kindness) was all we had.

It took us some time before we managed to get all the dogs onto the two lorries. A few of the dogs were really sick and needed medical attention. As we were loading the dogs onto the first lorry, one young couple arrived with their van and offered to help. They were definitely heaven-sent, because we needed a separate vehicle to take these very sick dog to the vet.

There was also a mother-dog who was captured while she was pregnant and she had just delivered eight healthy, bubbly puppies at the pound two days before. The workers had put her and her puppies in a separate (rusty) cage, but the authorities wanted this mother-dog AND hew puppies to be put to sleep as well. We could not transport this mother-dog and her puppies out that afternoon, so we pleaded with the workers to give them a one-day reprieve and we promised to take them out the next day. Thank goodness they agreed.

Having loaded all the dogs onto the lorries, our long journey now began. I could see that the dogs were very scared and they did not know what was happening and why they were inside these cages on a lorry. My heart went out to them, and I could only hope that they would somehow “know” we were bringing them to safety. By now, it had started to drizzle and we had to bring these dogs all the way to Ti-Ratana. The journey would take at least an hour especially when the lorries had to go very slowly.

I drove behind the lorry and a seventeen year-old boy kept me company. Bless his kind heart, he was the only person who had volunteered to help me that afternoon. Everyone else was “too busy”. On the way, the rain started getting heavier and at one point, it was so heavy I could hardly see out of my windscreen. Suddenly, without warning, I saw one dog clamber out of the cage (it was open on top) and jump off the lorry. It then scurried to the roadside and disappeared into a nearby jungle. Everything happened too quickly – it was a miracle that the dog did not get knocked down by any car on that road. My car screeched to a stop, and I went out in the rain to look for it, but I failed to find it. I could only hope that it could survive in the jungle. We continued our journey.

It was amazing that when we reached the Ti-Ratana with the first batch of fifteen dogs, even the aggressive ones had settled down and were docile. This was a far cry from what they were like at the pound. It was obvious that they sensed security and safety in this new place. Or perhaps they were just too exhausted from the long journey to protest!

The volunteers at Ti-Ratana who had set up the make-shift enclosure on the grass had not anticipated the heavy thunderstorm and the whole place was slightly flooded. There was no time to waste, so we made a human chain and began filling the pools of water with sand, broken tiles and whatever we could find there, and we covered the sand with planks and plywood we had found nearby, before unloading the dogs. It was still raining. The enclosure was very low (with zinc roofs), so we had to stoop while we were inside. The few men who were there could not get in at all as they were too big. Hence, it was women power again!

It was so much easier unloading the dogs now – all were calm, even the ones who had been aggressive earlier. By now the second lorry had arrived, and we carried the dogs down from the two lorries and put them into their new home. Here we were met by a lady and her son who had the kindest hearts you could ever find. This remarkable lady calmed the last of the three fiercest dogs by talking to them in Mandarin. It was sheer magic. A petite lady, hardly five feet tall, with a heart of gold…and courage!

Everyone was close to tears by now. We had virtually completed a near-impossible task. A total of thirty-seven huge dogs (excluding the mother-dog and her puppies who were still at the pound) had been rescued, all in one afternoon. Who would have thought six small-sized ladies would have taken on this task and obtained two lorries, and Ti-Ratana would build a temporary shelter to house them? Kamma works in mysterious ways. Nature provides, if we strive hard enough. Aditthana (determination) is one of the ten paramis (perfections).

It was extremely heartening to know that Ti-Ratana had a wonderful plan in the pipeline. Six dog trainers had already volunteered to train the dogs together with the orphans at the welfare home, so it would be a two-pronged project, training the dogs and teaching the children compassion. The trained dogs would later be put up for adoption.

By now, the rain had stopped and the orphans gathered around excitedly to help feed the dogs. It was touching to see so much compassion and loving-kindness in the children – they were really eager to help. A kind person had sponsored two hundred pounds of premium dog food, together with feeding bowls. Our job was done now. I drove home, feeling relieved that a near-impossible task had been completed. I even managed to take a bath and go for a Dhamma lesson that evening. However, I was very sure I still smelled of dog all night! My friends who heard about the rescue donated money to buy dog food. My brother heard about the rescue and donated RM1000 that night itself.

The next morning, as promised, we drove to the pound to rescue the mother-dog and her puppies. The workers kept their promise of the one-day reprieve. There were no takers for the mother-dog and her puppies, so I volunteered to take them home – all nine of them. I had no idea how I was going to house them in my intermediate linked house, but somehow, I would find a way.

So Selphie (that’s what we called her) and her eight puppies came home with me in my little Kelisa. Selphie was a big black mongrel, only about one-year old. I put her and her puppies in the porch and watched over them that night. The next morning, the moment I came out, she came to me and put her head on my lap. I was very touched. I knew she was saying “thank you”. I could feel her gratitude.

Every morning, the moment I went out to the porch, Selphie would leave her puppies and lick me all over. She would sit with me on the swing, and you cannot help but KNOW that Selphie was saying “thank you” in her own ways. Her affections were genuine. She touched me very deeply.

After two weeks, a very kind vet offered to take over Selphie and her puppies. It was definitely better as the puppies needed the care of a vet. We sent the whole family to the vet’s and I remember feeling so sad when we had to leave them there. I could only hope that Selphie would understand that it was for her and her puppies own good, and that I was not abandoning her. There was no way I could keep her in my house. Even while she was with me, all my pets suffered. I had to keep the windows locked, and once, Polar escaped and Selphie almost ate her up! Bobby too, felt quite miserable, being under “house arrest”!

The vet checked all the puppies and found that the youngest was severely dehydrated. I felt extremely guilty that due to my ignorance, I did not know how to check the puppies for dehydration (now I know – do a pinch test on the skin). The vet had earlier told me to just leave everything to the mother-dog and that I need not do anything at all except to ensure that the mother-dog was well-fed. I prayed hard that this youngest puppy would survive under the care of the vet.

Every day I called the vet to check on the youngest puppy.

After three days, my worst fears were realized – the little one did not make it. I cried my heart out, feeling extremely guilty and could not help but blame myself for having been ignorant. I brought her home and buried her in my garden. I was devastated – if only I had known how to check for dehydration, she could have lived. And Selphie was so young (and probably a first-time mother) – she most probably could not look after all eight of her puppies or ensure that each one was properly fed. That’s life – I was ignorant, but we learn and become wiser from our mistakes. After a few weeks at the vet’s, somehow, the eldest puppy also passed away due to unknown causes. We later got Selphie and her remaining six puppies adopted. The last I heard, all are doing fine.

Of the dogs whom we sent to the vet on the day of the rescue because they needed medical attention, one had to have a leg amputated. After his amputation, we raised enough funds to fly (yes, by aeroplane) him to a no-kill animal shelter in Langkawi where he would spend the rest of his days – safe and sound, happily and healthily.

Ti-Ratana later built a permanent enclosure for the dogs. The orphan-dog programme proceeded well. Some of the very sick dogs did not live long, unfortunately, but at least they were attended to by vets and they lived out their natural lives. The other dogs who survived were eventually adopted by caring families. My friends and I attended the adoption ceremony and there was even a performance to show off the dogs!

So that’s the story of the Big Rescue Operation. I do not know if I would ever have the energy or resilience to do it again, but if the need is there, somehow, we find the strength. With metta as our only motivation, and kamma as our support, we try our best.

All lives are precious (Dhammapada, 129). If you were to have looked into the eyes of one of those forty-five dogs that afternoon, you would have understood what the Buddha had said – that we all want to live and we fear death. Knowing this, we should never harm or cause others to do harm.

This big rescue operation gave me an inner strength and confidence which I never knew I had. And, how often does one get the chance to save forty-five lives in a day? I am truly thankful to have served my fellow sentient beings.

Saving and protecting lives is our First Precept. As Ven Thich Nhat Hanh says, let us celebrate the reverence for life and do all we can to honour and respect all life.

Tiger’s Tales

Every animal knows more than you do.

- Chief Seattle

August 2006. About half a year after Cow, Bunny and Polar came into our lives, we had another addition to the family. A Japanese lady had heard about my rescue and care of newborn kittens and she called me to ask if I would take over a tiny kitten she had found. The poor little creature had been meowing piteously beside its already dead mother. The Japanese lady could not look after him as she had her own little infant to take care of.

That very afternoon, she brought the little kitten over to my house. I took one look at him, and my heart went out to the helpless young feline… and that was how Tiger came into our lives on that Saturday afternoon in August. We called him Tiger because he had stripes (albeit all grey). Initially his face looked like that of a monkey’s, but somehow as the weeks went by, his face actually evolved into that of a tiger’s – living up to his name? He even had some an orange tinge around his nose area.

Bobby was very hospitable to Tiger and accepted him instantly. He was clearly excited about this new addition to the household. However, Cow, Bunny and Polar were very jealous and decided not to welcome Tiger at all. Whenever I brought Tiger into the kitchen, the three would go into the living room. And if Tiger was in the living room, they would go out into the garden or migrate upstairs. Cow was the ring leader in this silent protest – he led everyone out. Sometimes as they passed by, they would even growl and hiss at poor little Tiger.

As I had no experience with cat rivalry before, I searched the internet for information about cat behaviour so that I could understand them better. I learnt that it was normal for cats to behave as Cow had done. Hostility, jealousy and insecurity were the norm when a new cat joins the household. However, I was confident that the three cats would eventually relent, and they probably just needed time to adjust. So I waited. During this time, Bobby protected Tiger and would shoo the cats away when they came anywhere near Tiger. Good old Bobby – don’t you just love him?

Having come alone, Tiger had no sibling or friend, so we gave him Lion (a soft toy) as a companion. Tiger loved Lion, and would lie beside him all the time. I guessed with Cow, Bunny and Polar being hostile, Tiger found solace in, and security with, Lion. Until today, Tiger is still very fond of his first friend.

After a week, the protest and hostility fizzled out and Cow, Bunny and Polar decided it was time to make peace. Aha…patience pays. In fact, soon after that, Cow began to take Tiger under his wing, and started giving him lessons on “how to be a cat”. We could see that Cow took great pride in playing big brother to Tiger.

As Cow took on this responsibility of looking after Tiger, I found I did not have to do much for Tiger except to feed him and make sure he was safe. Cow took Tiger around the house, introduced him to the garden, and watched over him as he learnt to climb the tree outside. At night, Cow made it his duty to sit on the pillar outside the house until everyone came back from their night walks. We noticed that Cow had become the “alpha cat”, the big brother of the pack.

So Tiger grew up, guided by Cow all the way. Bobby continued being sympathetic towards Tiger. Perhaps he knew that Tiger had come alone, unlike Cow, Bunny and Polar, so Bobby decided to become Tiger’s best friend. The two got along very well and would play together – an odd couple indeed – a ten year old poodle and a two month old kitten!

Tiger had marvelous interpersonal skills. Soon, he got on very well with the cats as well as Mac, who lived alone in the backyard. Tiger would climb out through the kitchen window to Mac’s place and actually play with Mac. Mac lived alone, so Tiger must have thought that Mac too had no friend and they could be partners for each other.

Tiger was also extremely tame and friendly. Imagine that, we called him “Tiger” and he turned out to be our friendliest cat! Until today, I have yet to see Tiger fighting with anyone at all. While Cow and Bunny were quite territorial and we often see them protecting the house from the neighbourhood bully-cat, Bushy, and both had come back with injuries before, Tiger came back intact every time, without a single scratch on him. I have never heard Tiger growling, hissing or hunching his back in defence. He was just so remarkably tame, friendly and trusting.

In fact, I have seen Tiger making friends with the other neighbourhood cats. We joked that Tiger went around signing “friendship contracts” with every animal in the neighbourhood. I often imagine Tiger going around with a pen in one paw and a document in the other asking every animal that he meets, “Would you like to be friends with me? Yes? Oh great! Sign here, please…”, and they shake paws (!) after that. I believe he does so (in his own ways, of course) because my neighbour tells me that every afternoon, Tiger goes over to her house for tea, and interacts with her cat in their living room. They even take naps on her carpet all afternoon, and Tiger gets little titbits of tea-time snacks with her cat. Tiger had found a second home, and had become good friends with her cat. Another friendship contract signed…and very successfully too, if I may add.

One day, however, the friendship negotiations went awry. Tiger had gone down the road to try to sign his “friendship contract” with two dogs in the neighbourhood. These were two medium-sized dogs (a mixed Spitz and a Pinscher) who belonged to a neighbour a few doors away. I was at work, but when I returned, I was told by my neighbour that there had been a big commotion that morning. Apparently, Tiger had gone to that house and had attempted to make friends with the two dogs, not knowing that unlike Bobby, most dogs are not friendly towards cats (well, how would Tiger have known, he only knew the dogs in our house and both were so friendly to him). And poor Tiger was chased into a corner by these two growling dogs, very ferociously too.

All hell broke loose, hair flew and the cacophonous pandemonium brought some neighbours rushing to the scene. Finally a kind boy in the neighbourhood came to the rescue, broke up the fight, and brought Tiger back to the safety of our house. According to the boy, poor Tiger was shivering and scared to bits. I guess young animals, just like young humans, trust very easily, and it is through bitter experience that they learn the ways of the world and become wiser as a result of it. I hoped, for Tiger’s own safety, that he had learnt the bitter lesson that not all dogs are friendly. I was (and still am) worried that Tiger might attempt to make friends with two more dogs down the road and these were huge dogs – an Alsatian and a Rottweiler! So far, there has been no further mishap but I am still keeping my fingers crossed.

Bobby continues to protect Tiger until today – the two are still the best of friends. And as I watch all my cats growing up, and how Bobby has magnanimously shared this house (and me!) with every animal that I have rescued, I cannot help but admire and respect Bobby for his generosity. From being the king of the house and master of all he surveys, plus being sole owner of me (!!), Bobby now shares the entire house with all the cats – he welcomes every addition to the family with open-hearted magnanimity and sincerity. He even lets Cow and Tiger sleep on my bed, together with him. I realized that when we give unconditional love and kindness to animals, they appreciate it and will in return shower the same on us and the other animals around them. Isn’t that just so wonderful, that we can even teach animals to be kind by just being kind to them?

Animals may be ignorant and lack our (human) intelligence. But in my experience with my pets, I am convinced that they can feel, and they do learn. If we think of what our world needs more today, is it knowledge or kindness? I am reminded instantly of one of my favourite quotes from Richard Carlson (1997), that “it is more important to be kind than to be right”. We humans sometimes think that we know a lot and that is what makes us superior to other beings, but what DO we know? Do we know how to be kinder to others? Do we know how to extend our compassion beyond the barriers of our superficial differences? Do we know how to forgive unconditionally and love boundlessly? Do we know that our differences are not important, and that what is more important is to care for each other?

Farewell, Little Pans

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened.

- Anatole France

December 2006. I was a little late in getting Polar spayed, and on the day I sent her to the clinic to get it done, the vet discovered she was already pregnant with three little kittens. It was at a very early stage, and the vet asked me if I would want him to go ahead with the spaying. I said no, absolutely not. These three little kittens had already come into the world through Polar. It was meant to be. They had to be given the chance to be born, and to live.

So we brought Polar back. The poor little thing was hardly eight months old and obviously did not know what was happening to her.

She went through the entire pregnancy without any mishap, and on the night of February 19th, 2007, just a few days after Chinese New Year, Polar made peculiar noises, trying to tell us she was in pain. We knew she was in labour and was due to deliver.

Being a first-time mother, poor Polar had no experience at all. And shortly past midnight, she delivered her firstborn, Wolf, beside the piano. Wolf was born almost transparent, being white in colour, and we could see his internal organs. Almost immediately after giving birth to Wolf, Polar took him in her mouth, and carried him to my computer room (which was downstairs), and placed him inside a box. Then she went upstairs into Ming-Yi’s wardrobe and about an hour later, delivered Cleo, a stylish little tri-coloured female and Pans, a black-and-white male. In the process of giving birth to the other two kittens, we figured that Polar had forgotten all about Wolf being downstairs. So we took Wolf up carefully, making sure we clad our hands with towels so that our scent would not get onto Wolf. We had heard horror stories of mother-cats sometimes eating up their young if the young had been touched by “outsiders”. Polar accepted Wolf when we placed him next to her, and allowed him to suckle together with Cleo and Pans.

It was such a joy watching the new mother nursing her babies. It is just so amazing that animals know instinctively what to do. It is we humans who have lost all our natural instincts and need to re-learn what to do.

The next day, a rather amusing thing happened. All of a sudden, Polar became very worried and rushed downstairs to the box where she had left Wolf the night before. She had forgotten that we had brought Wolf to her the previous night. But I guess being so caught up with the events happening, she had become confused with the situation with her firstborn, Wolf.

Initially we were worried that Cow and Bunny might attack the new kittens, as we heard that such things do happen amongst cats. But Cow and Bunny played the role of “uncle” very well, and came to pay daily visits. Bobby was more excited than ever! He was the grand uncle now!

The three kittens grew up very healthily. It was a far cry from what we had experienced in looking after Cow, Bunny and Polar previously. As the three of them had no mother, we had to be their mother and there was just so much to do to ensure that they would survive – every day was a new challenge and a milestone. Now, Polar was around, and she was such a loving and caring mother. There was virtually nothing we had to do. Polar did everything from cleaning up her kittens to feeding them. She never left her kittens, not even for a moment. She was the epitome of the perfect mother and we were so proud of her.

Although Polar was extremely protective of her kittens, she allowed all of us to touch them. The three balls of fur grew from day to day. I only had to weigh them every few days to ensure that they were getting enough nutrition from Polar. And of course, not forgetting (after the experience with Selphie’s puppies), I did the pinch test to check for dehydration. Once Bobby came too close to the kittens, and Polar chased Bobby all the way to the back of the house. Her protective instinct was like nothing I had ever seen in her before. That, I suppose, is the mother’s love for her kittens. There was absolutely no fear in her. She confronted and almost attacked a dog three times her size!!

Wolf turned out to be a beautiful Pointed-Blue male whom many say really looked like a wolf and Cleo was a petite and extremely elegant tri-coloured female who had black hind legs which made her look as though she was wearing black stockings, all ready to go out to paint the whole town red! Pans was black and white, and had a cute little bent tail. He had the most angelic face you had ever seen. My husband called him “Sweet Face”.

The three little kittens were very close-knit and it was such a joy watching them grow day by day. Their home was my computer room and they were my constant companions as I worked on my Dhamma talks every day. We set up a little “jungle gym” with boxes and books for them to play on, and they would be climbing up and down, and all over. Of the three, Pans, being the youngest, endeared himself to us all because of his sweet little face. He had a great appetite and grew the fastest, and soon outgrew his brother and sister in size.

When we took the three siblings for their first check-up at the vet’s, we brought them in the pet carrier. The vet had taken Cleo out to be examined first, and she was making a lot of noise out of protest. Pans felt he had to protect his big sister, so he stretched his little paw out and tried to scratch the vet. What a brave little baby brother! At other times, Wolf and Pans roughed it out, as most brothers would – the two got on very well.

Everything went on perfectly well until one night, about four months after their birth, one of my neighbours rang me up at around midnight and told me that one of my cats was lying motionless by the roadside, under the coconut tree. We all rushed out, and to our shock, it was Little Pans. I refused to believe it was little Pans. I said, “No, please, this is not Little Pans, no, no, please….”. But it was unmistakably Pans, our youngest kitten. He was already cold and stiff by then, and there was a little trace of blood at his mouth.

We brought little Pans back to the house, and a few of the cats came to investigate. Ming-Yi was devastated. This was totally unexpected and we were all in shock. Pans was only four months old. How could this have happened? We were so unprepared. Polar came to see, and I explained to her that Pans was gone. It broke my heart. Wolf also came to sniff at little Pans, and I tried my best to console him. I wondered if I was consoling him or myself. Yet I had to be strong for my children and make some decisions.

Although being at a loss and in shock, I felt I had to take some action. There was no point keeping Pans’ remains overnight, so we decided to bury Pans immediately. Jia-Wen and I dug a hole in the garden in the dead of the night, and we buried him. Tiger, Cow and Wolf came around and stayed with us. I wondered if they knew what had happened. I was totally devastated.

I could barely sleep that night. I had just buried our youngest little kitten. I was still in shock. The next morning, I needed to cry. I needed to mourn the loss. I think I must have cried for two weeks after that. Wolf looked for Pans and he definitely missed him. He would even go to the spot where we had buried Pans and sniff around – that really broke my heart. I do not think Wolf understood that Pans had died and would not return anymore. He kept mewing and looking for him – he had lost his dearest playmate and little brother.

I tried to occupy Wolf’s and Cleo’s attention by playing with them as much as I could. Polar did not seem to be much affected by the loss, but I saw her sniffing at the spot under the coconut tree for many days after that. I did not know what was in her thoughts, but my heart certainly wept for her. She had been such a wonderful mother. Wolf was clearly very sad, and I tried my best to cheer him up and distract him. I reminded myself that life had to go on. The dead are gone now, the living have to continue with their lives. Being the human figure in this family, as one who is supposed to understand things better, I had a role to play.

However, as strong as I tried to be, I became totally paranoid, and every night, I would be out on the road to get all the cats back into the house. I even closed all the windows to prevent them from going out. I was a total emotional wreck. I cried to my Dhamma friends. And this was when they had to help me by reminding me that my practice of upekkha (equanimity, the fourth of the Four Brahmaviharas (Sublime States)) was clearly lacking. I had so much metta (loving-kindness), karuna (compassion) and mudita (altruistic joy) for my cats, but I was so sorely lacking in upekkha. Upekkha is that balance that is needed to prevent us from falling into overwhelming emotions, be it compassion, happiness or sadness.

To develop upekkha, we need to understand kamma and anicca (impermanence). It was through the help of my Dhamma friends that I reflected on kamma, that Pans had come with his own kamma from his previous lives. Maybe he was destined to live as a cat for just four months. Maybe after having lived with us for these short but love-filled months, he would now be reborn in a happier existence. Maybe as a human? Why not? Maybe….everything is just a “maybe”, but looking at things optimistically and positively certainly helped alleviate the intense sadness and the feelings of loss. I had to reflect on impermanence as well.

“Life is uncertain, death is certain.” – our late Chief Dr K. Sri Dhammananda’s voice and words ring true. We all have to die one day, we just do not know when it would happen. Much as we can accept the fact that elderly or sick people die when they do, it is just so hard to accept when death comes unexpectedly, especially to one so young. Yet, Little Pans’ death was a “wake-up” call, a grim and timely reminder that death can strike at any time. We had better be prepared for it, like it or not.I

It took me at least two weeks before I finally settled down, found a little peace in my heart and began to heal. It was still very difficult and painful whenever I thought about that night, and thoughts of how Pans had died. Until today, I do not know what happened on that fateful night. Ming-Yi thinks that he might have gone out and attempted to climb the coconut tree and had fallen down as we had found him lying motionless under that tree. Did he suffer in silence or was death instantaneous? These questions continued to torment me for months, up till today. I had to find peace and solace in the Dhamma – and the only way was to face the truth squarely in the face. Kamma and anicca (impermanence) are realities in life. We have to accept these truths. There was no other way. My other solace was that rebirth was immediate. The moment one dies, one is reborn instantly. I consoled myself that since Pans had led a happy life in our house, he would surely be reborn in a happy realm now.

Being Buddhists, we do not seek solace in any external being who would take care of everything for us. Instead, we have to face the realities of life, and find confidence in the Dhamma to see us through. It may not be easy and may require great mental and emotional strength, but it is through such difficult life situations that we appreciate how helpful the Dhamma is. Wisdom deepens, our saddha (faith) increases and this in turn reinforces our practice. Reality is sometimes painful, yet if we mask it, we would only be hiding from the truths.

Many months after this fateful incident, I wrote to my spiritual friend and teacher, Bhante Kumara. What I like about consulting Bhante Kumara is that he tells me things straight to my face. No masking, no sweeteners or softeners – and I appreciated that very much. Bhante Kumara asked me to put myself in Pans’ place and ask myself if I had known I had only four months to live as a cat, would I have liked to be reborn as a cat in my house, under my love and care. I told Bhante Kumara that I would never know. Bhante said, “Reflect on it, do you think Pans regrets having been your cat? Would he have preferred to be born a stray cat during those four months?” I thought about this, and I was quite sure Pans felt blessed to have been born in our house where there was so much love and compassion, where the Dhamma was practised every day. That thought helped me cope better with the loss. I thank Bhante Kumara for helping me see the positive side of this sad incident.

In memory of Pans, my family decided to sponsor one of my Dhamma talks aptly entitled “Kindness to Animals” for free distribution – and we dedicated the audio CD to him. May this talk reach out to many people, and encourage them to practise love and compassion to animals. May all merits accrue to Pans’ well-being and happiness, wherever he may be now.

Wolf and Cleo have grown up so much. They are slightly more than one year old now and they are the best of siblings. Wolf still protects Cleo, and would wait at the pillar outside the house at night until Cleo comes back from her night walks. He has to make sure his only sibling is safe.

Little Pans, wherever you are now, I hope you are happy. We will always remember your sweet little face, and your cute little bent tail. I hope what little bit of Dhamma you had somehow learnt from us would stay with you and provide the starting point for you to lead a good and noble life. Thank you for having brought so much joy to all of us in your short four-month stay with us. Thank you for having made me a little stronger, and hopefully more able to face the vicissitudes of life as they come.

“Life is uncertain, death is certain.” – this is a fact of life. Let us always be prepared. Let us face death with equanimity and calm when it comes. But let us also be reminded of the urgency to practise while we still have time.

May you be well and happy, Little Pans.

The Crow in the Drain

If a man inflicts a thousand ills upon a beast, it can neither ward him off with speech nor hale him into court. Therefore is it essential that ye show forth the utmost consideration to the animal, and that ye be even kinder to him than to your fellow man. - Abdu'l-Baha

May 2007. It was a Friday morning, a normal working day, and I had just parked my car and stepped out when I noticed a black crow lying by the roadside. It looked injured and was breathing very heavily. It was an unusually big crow.

I had seen injured birds before and had attempted to rescue them. The vet had always turned me down saying that we would normally be doing more harm by causing them more fear and mental stress on top of their injury. The best, I had been told, was to have them put to sleep if they were too badly injured. But the few times I had rescued birds, I did not agree to have them euthanised.

Instead, I made them comfortable and let them live out the remaining moments of their lives naturally with the soothing Metta Chant playing in the background.

It was barely 7.30am and the vet was not open yet. I also knew from past experience that most vets would not want to treat birds, what more a crow. I felt very sorry for the crow and hoped she (the vet later told me that the crow was female) would pass away peacefully and not have to suffer pain. I knelt beside her on the road and radiated metta to her. I was careful not to cause her further stress, remembering what the vet had told me before (that our attempts at rescuing can actually do more harm than good). Let Nature take its course, I thought. If she was destined to live, I hoped what little bit of metta I sent to her would help her in her recovery.

I stayed with the injured bird until 8.00am and left for class. When I finished my lesson at 10.00am, I rushed down to the road and was delighted that the bird was not there anymore. I thought she might have recovered and flown away. But upon checking the drain, I saw she had fallen (or maybe someone had kicked her) into the drain. The drain was clogged up and filled with filthy water and the poor thing was shivering. I was really at a loss – should I pick her up, or would I be causing her greater stress and unwittingly doing more harm? It was really heart-breaking to see the crow shivering in the filthy water, so I jumped into the drain and picked her up. Afraid that my presence would be causing more stress to my injured friend, I quickly left her by the roadside.

Unfortunately, the crow was so afraid that she struggled and fell back into the drain. I decided that it would be better to pick her up again (even though that might stress her further) than to let her shiver to death in the filthy water, so there I went into the drain again. And in the process of doing all this, I now had drain water splattered all over my clothes and face.

I did wonder if a cruel person had actually kicked the poor thing into the drain, but I brushed off that thought. No point thinking the worst of humans. It does not help at all. Leaving the crow by the roadside would not be a good idea as she might fall back into the drain. So I carried her to a nearby parking lot and left her under a shady tree. I made her a cushion of leaves to lie on and radiated metta again until it was time for me to leave for my next class. She was still breathing when I left her and she seemed very much calmer now.

After class, I rushed back to the tree, and the crow was still breathing and appeared to be strong. In that moment, I recalled a story in the Buddha’s young days when he was still a prince. His cousin, Devadatta had shot down a swan, and the Buddha went to great lengths (even by presenting his case in court) to take possession of the swan so that he could nurse it back to health. After Enlightenment, the Buddha taught that since we have undergone countless rounds of rebirths in beginningless time, it is highly possible that every sentient being had, in one previous lifetime, been our mother before.

Hence, we must honour every being as a “mother being”. I know this rationale motivates many of my Dhamma friends to practise compassion to all beings. But for me, I do not need all these reasons. I see animals as suffering beings who lack the capacity to help themselves and that is reason enough for me to help them. It does not matter to me whether they had been related to me before in a previous life. As far as I am concerned, aren’t we all somehow inter-related and inter-dependent on each other?

Now, I had this crow before me who was still breathing and hanging on to dear life – I could not help feeling that I must do more for her, and I felt that maybe she was meant to live after all, so I called the vet and pleaded with her to take a look. The vet was merciful, and agreed. But now how was I to bring the crow alone in my car? She would be struggling so badly. So I drove home and got Jia-Wen to drive me back. I wrapped the crow in a towel and rushed her to the clinic. She did not struggle throughout the entire journey.

The senior vet took a look at her injuries and told me that she was beyond help. There was nothing he could do, and the most “merciful” thing to do was to have her euthanised. I said no, and I asked him to teach me whatever I could do to help the crow. I said I would try. So the vet told me that since crows are carnivorous, and had a high metabolic rate, I must try to feed her some good quality and easily-digestible meat. I bought a can from the clinic and Jia-Wen drove us home.

At home, I made the crow as comfortable as possible in a little pet carrier cushioned with towels, and I played the Metta Chant for her. I also turned off all the lights in the room because the vet said brightness would agitate her. I know the Metta Chant works wonders. It had helped all my pets whenever they were sick. The soothing melody and reassuring words also help me cope better when hope seems dim.

Against the backdrop of the Metta Chant, the crow was calm and at peace. I tried to feed her the food I had bought, but she did not want to eat at all. I then left her alone and put some food nearby. After about an hour, I heard some shuffling in the pet carrier, and when I went to look, she stretched herself, excreted some faeces, and passed away peacefully.

I found out recently that crows are as intelligent as chimpanzees (Crows as Clever as Great Apes (2004)). They are superior in intelligence compared to other birds, and can even use tools to solve problems. Intelligence aside, all animals can feel. That, I am very sure of. The philosopher Jeremy Bentham writes, “The question is not, "Can they reason?" nor, "Can they talk?" but rather, "Can they suffer?"” Animals, just like humans, need empathy and compassion, especially when facing death. If we were to just take a moment and look at how animals live their lives, we can see that they do suffer, so isn’t that reason enough for us to help them?

This would be the third injured bird I had had to bury. As the vet had said, it is very difficult to rescue injured birds. I realised this too, after having had two other injured birds die on me before this. But if it is our kamma to encounter such suffering birds (or any animal, for that matter), we must do the best we can, out of compassion, to make the dying moments a little more peaceful for these animals.

While many people advocate euthanasia out of “compassion” for animals so that they need not suffer, we as Buddhists, who profess to practise our First Precept of non-killing, should instead ask ourselves, is there a better way? Is there a more compassionate alternative? I asked Bhante Henepola Gunaratana if euthanasia is an act of compassion. He smiled, shook his head, and said, “I think it is just an act of convenience for some people”. He told me about the cats at his temple, and how some were old and sickly, and the vet had advised euthanasia, yet Bhante Gunaratana and his disciples had never opted for it. He told me how he nursed his cats, feeding them morphine every few hours to alleviate their pain, and letting them live out their lives naturally and peacefully, as it is meant to be.

So, do we have a choice? Of course we do. I will always remember what I learnt from a very compassionate lady I met at the vet’s many years ago. She was there on a regular visit to take her thirteen-year-old dog for his check-up. Her dog was blind and suffering from diabetes. She gave him his daily injections of insulin by herself, and she made sure all her furniture remained intact so that her dog could find his way around the house. She even took him for walks every day, and would drive him all the way to Sungei Petani for baby-sitting under her sister when she travelled overseas. She told me that many friends had reprimanded her for being “stupid”, to be bogged down by a blind dog. Her friends advised her to have the dog put to sleep. To this, she said her daughter would answer them, “Would you put your grandmother to sleep if she became blind?”

I remember asking Bhante Yatirawana Wimala too, many years ago, if euthanasia is an option for Buddhists. Bhante Wimala said no. He said all of us, humans and animals, come with our own kamma. We have to live out our kamma, as it is meant to be, and if others make the decision to end our lives prematurely, we would still have to live out that kamma again, in our next life (or our future lives). So what we Buddhists should do, is to help the dying person or animal live out their remaining days as peacefully and comfortably as we can. That is the best we can do, and that is what we ought to do.

Euthanasia is a choice for us. If we Buddhists profess to practise metta which is non-discriminatory, boundless and unconditional love to ALL sentient beings, then let us treat animals as not any different from our loved ones.

Let us not just simply chant, “May all beings be well and happy”. Let us put it into practice. There are countless suffering animals out there, giving us the opportunity to practice metta as much as we want. We need not look far. Look into your garden, your drains, your kitchen sink. Little beings abound for us to save and protect. If ever we are faced with having to help a dying animal, we must not be quick to opt for euthanasia. Ask ourselves, is there a more compassionate alternative? Usually, there is. I would play the Metta Chant, make it as comfortable as possible, and let it live out its life as it is meant to be.

A friend recently shared the lyrics of a song with me. It is called “Take These Wings”, composed by Don Besig with words by Steve Kuperschmid. It talks about a man who had found a dying sparrow, and as he knelt before the sparrow, the dying bird said these words to him:

Take these wings and learn to fly,

To the highest mountains in the sky;

Take these eyes and learn to see,

All the things so dear to me;

Take this song and learn to sing,

Fill your voice with all the joys of spring;

Take this heart and set it free,

Let it fly beyond the sea.

And later (as the song goes), this man found a baby sparrow who had dropped from its nest. He picked up the little bird and sang the same words to her.

I was very touched by the lyrics of this beautiful and meaningful song. It made me realise that we sometimes think that birds are not as intelligent as the mammals, but do we really know? As I have always believed, intelligence aside, all animals can feel. It is their feelings that make them sentient. And if they can feel, we too must feel for them.

As Ven Thich Nhat Hanh writes, “The practice of the First Precept is a celebration of the reverence for life. Appreciate and honour the beauty of life, and do everything in your power to protect ALL life.”

May the crow have a happy rebirth.

May her heart be free and happy.

The Miracle of Vixey

To my mind the life of a lamb is no less precious than that of a human being. I hold that, the more helpless a creature, the more entitled it is to the protection by man from the cruelty of man.

- Mahatma Gandhi.

October 2007. One Sunday evening, Ming-Yi received a call from her friend saying that two little kittens had been abandoned by a rubbish heap near the playground. We went there and found two little balls of fur, one grey and one jet-black, curled up by a pile of rubbish. The jet-black one was almost motionless while the grey one was spitting and hissing at us – a defensive gesture typical of cats. I thought they could not be more than one month old and would never be able to survive on their own. They could not have been abandoned by their mother either as this rubbish heap was in the open air. Only a human could have done this. Not surprising, because more than a year ago, I had rescued Cow, Bunny and Polar not too far from this rubbish heap. Those three had only been about two days old when I found them, and Ming-Yi and I hand-raised them against the odds. They are now healthy and robust, living with us.

Ming-Yi and I stayed with the two kittens for about forty minutes or so, asking everyone who passed by if they would be willing to take them. Everyone shook their heads. It was the rainy season with heavy torrential rains at night and this was already very late in the evening, so I knew we had to take them back, or they would surely die or be swept away into the drain nearby. I went home, brought the pet carrier and took them straight to the vet's for a check-up. The vet said they looked okay, so I got them de-wormed and brought them home.

At home, Bobby got really excited. "Another litter of kittens? Hmm....okay, welcome, welcome!", I could almost hear him say. Bobby has looked after every single kitten we have rescued. Bless his kind and beautiful heart. As expected, Cow, Bunny and Polar were not as sympathetic, though. This did not come as a shock anymore after the experience with Tiger. For the first few days, Cow and Bunny were very curious, but they were not exactly very friendly, staying a short distance away from the new litter. They migrated away from the new litter, staying at a distance. Bobby sensed their unfriendliness and stood guard by the cage, shooing the cats away whenever they came near.

We named the grey one, who was a male, Little Chief. I thought a Native American sounding name would be cute, and also because he had been so protective of his sister, whom we called Vixey. Little Chief had been guarding Vixey from the rubbish heap itself, and at home, whenever we fed them, Little Chief would let Vixey eat first. Vixey had a voracious appetite. As she was jet-black, all you could see when you looked at her was a bundle of fur. She also had black eyes and a black nose, so you could not see much of her features. Because of her voracious appetite, she would climb into the food bowl and bury her whole head into the food. When she finally finished eating and raised her head, you could not make out her face, but only the remnants of food on her whiskers and mouth area! Oh-cho-mau (messy little cat, in Cantonese), I would call her, as I wiped the food off her little face and tried to make out where her eyes and nose were.

Cleo was badly affected by the arrival of Little Chief and Vixey to the household. Previously, Cleo had always accompanied me at the computer table where I did my work every single night. She would rub her face on the keyboard and ask to be stroked. Now, since Little Chief and Vixey lived in the room, Cleo felt slighted and she decided that she would sit outside in the garden instead. I missed Cleo and hoped she would understand that I did not love her any less. I wished she would return and accompany me in the room again as she had done for the past few months.

As a little kitten, Vixey somehow had a great liking for all things electrical. She would seek out the electrical adaptors and hug them to sleep. Although we gave her a hot water bottle, she still preferred the adaptors. Her favourite spot in the house was an old hi-fi player (which radiated warmth when we turned it on). If we could not find Vixey, we would just look for her at the hi-fi player. She would be snugly settled on top of it, enjoying its electrical warmth.

I figured either she was very good at seeking out warm places or (we joked) she must have been an electrical engineer in a previous life. I was more inclined to believe in the latter because she also took a very keen interest in watching my husband repair any electrical equipment. I could almost hear her say, as she watched my husband struggle with the repair work, “Hey, no, no, it’s not like that…you’re not doing it right. Ask me, I’ve done this before. I’m the expert.”

One evening eleven days later, as I was about to feed Little Chief and Vixey, something terrible happened. I had left the kitchen for a moment to get something from another room when I suddenly heard a horrifying cry from the kitchen. I rushed in and saw Vixey upside down, with thick blood spurting out from her nose. Bobby was nearby, looking very worried and helpless. Little Chief did not seem to know what was happening.

I panicked at the sight, and my first thought was that the neighbourhood killer-cat (a new cat on the block, I was told) or Bushy, the bully-cat on the road whom Bunny had been chasing away, had sneaked in and bitten Vixey. I bundled her up into a small litter box, grabbed my car keys and rushed her to the vet's. As there was a slight jam on the way, I kept sending her metta (thoughts of loving-kindness), one hand holding her, one hand on the steering wheel. "Hang on, Vixey, hang on, please....mummy's here, you'll be ok. May you be well." I could hear my own heart pounding heavily.

The vet on duty, Dr Loh, put her on oxygen and found no bite marks. Then the senior vet, Dr Vijay came and said it was either a puncture in the lungs or a brain trauma - both of which were "bad news" for such a young kitten. If it was a brain trauma, he said either something heavy had fallen on her head or she had fallen down herself and hurt her head. Being so young, kittens might not know how to land on their four feet yet if the height was not optimum enough for them to adjust their body for landing. My guess was that she might have tried to jump up the kitchen cabinet and fallen on her head. I was very sure of that because no object was found on the kitchen floor.

Because Vixey's respiration stabilised, that ruled out lung puncture, so Dr Vijay put Vixey on the floor to determine if it was brain trauma. Vixey could only circle to the right. And when put against the wall to force her to turn to her left, she could not move at all. Dr Vijay ascertained that it was brain trauma on the right side of her brain. That means the brain would start to swell and the swelling had to be controlled by steroids. As she was so small, the amount of steroids that could be given had to be quite minimal because too much might just kill her.

Dr Vijay's clinic was not a 24-hour clinic and the nearest 24-hour one was downtown in KL. It was peak-hour jam on the roads. I had to make a decision whether to leave her with Dr Vijay and let them administer the steroids immediately but without 24-hour monitoring, or to get her down to KL. I decided to put my full trust in Dr Vijay and told him to go ahead. Leaving Vixey at the clinic that night was one of the most painful things I had to do in my entire life.

I tossed and turned that night. Every hour I woke up, wondering how Vixey was. The poor little thing. She was only a month-old and had had to endure such suffering. Dr Vijay could not give me much assurance too, and that was only fair, because Vixey was so small. But Dr Vijay assured me that this was the best possible treatment and it now all depended on whether Vixey would respond to the treatment. It was now all up to her body. Medicine could only do so much.

The next morning, I was at the clinic when it opened. Vixey was lying very still with the intravenous tube (for the steroids) inserted into her little arm. She looked lifeless. I felt her soft chest breathing – it was still strong and that was the only hope I had. Dr Vijay said it was far too early to tell if she would make it. We needed time. However, Dr Vijay said from his experience, some kittens (being young and hence, regenerative powers still good) would have responded after about six hours of intravenous steroids. Vixey still had not responded after more than ten hours. I was very worried. I knelt down by her cage, and put my hand on her to feel her breathing. "Get well soon, Vixey, come home and play with Little Chief. Come home and be the oh-cho-mau that you are again. May you be well again, Vixey. I'm taking you home soon, ok?"

I cried, because she looked helpless and there was nothing I could do to help her except to give her metta and hope for the best. Since I did not know the suttas by-heart, I chanted the 4-verse blessings that our Late Chief Rev K. Sri Dhammananda used to chant after every Dhamma talk.

Bhavatu Sabba Mangalam,

Rakkhantu Sabba Devata,

Sabba Buddhanu Bhavena,

Sada Sothhi Bhavantu Te.

May all blessings come to you,

May all devas protect you,

By the grace of all Enlightened Beings,

May weal ever abound in you.

My friends heard about Vixey and a few did distant reiki while others sent metta from afar. One friend came to the clinic to do healing on her. I was very thankful for all the emotional support I received. Dr Vijay said that even if Vixey would show a little bit of progress, there was hope, but if there was any sign of deterioration, he would suggest that we let her go (that means to put her down). I know I could never do that – I had never had to do that before in my entire life and I hope I would never have to make that painful decision. Remirth died peacefully of cancer, and the injured birds that I had rescued died peacefully with the Metta Chant playing in the background, in my house. I had never agreed to euthanasia before and I hope I would never have to.

Please, not with Vixey, please. I was all prepared to take her home and nurse her even if Dr Vijay said all she could do was to eat, defecate and sleep. I would look after her for life. But I hope she would not have to suffer. While I empathise and truly sympathise with pet owners who have had to agree to euthanasia out of compassion for their suffering pets, I know it would break my heart if I were ever faced with that decision one day. I remember the crow I had rescued just a few months ago. The vet had advised that it was best to put her down, but I brought her home instead, and she died peacefully in my house against the background music of the soothing Metta Chant.

Vixey looked paralysed and Dr Vijay could not tell the extent of brain damage or if her brain would regenerate the damaged parts. She had to show some indication of progress first before Dr Vijay could assess her. I understood this, and I knew I had to be patient and hopeful. Alopathic medicine could only do this much. I had to rely on "spiritual medicine" now. Dr Vijay said there was another procedure where they would drill a hole through the skull and drain out the fluids, but that was far too risky on such a small kitten and he would not do it. The procedure itself might kill her. The only hope we had that day was that Vixey was still eating when fed from a syringe. And that she was still alive. The friend who had come to perform healing on her said her heart beat was still very strong. At such times when all seems lost, every glimmer of hope is very comforting.

I stayed with Vixey until late evening. I had brought Late Chief Rev K. Sri Dhammananda's little red book of parittas and chanted as many suttas as I could for her. I found the Bojhangga Sutta (The Seven Factors of Enlightenment) from the internet and I knew the Jinapanjara (The Buddha’s Mansion) was particularly good for curing illnesses, so I focused on these two suttas. I wished I could play the Metta Chant continuously for Vixey at the clinic but I did not have a portable player for this purpose. My pets have previously always healed from their illnesses by listening to the Metta Chant, besides being on the necessary medication. I remember once Bobby's liver was in very bad shape (80% of it had failed), but he recovered quite miraculously with medication and the Metta Chant.

Day Two – Jia-Wen and I went to the clinic not knowing if Vixey had survived through the night. When we approached her cage, Vixey mewed and wagged her tail happily. We were overjoyed. She had woken up! She tried to move as well. That, was a huge relief and to my untrained layperson's perception, that was a huge improvement from her near comatose state the previous day. However, the vet who was looking after Vixey, Dr Loh, said it was still not good enough. It was still not the "progress" they were looking for. She was stable, and had not deteriorated, but she had not progressed either. To Dr Loh, she was still in a critical stage. So we still had to wait. My friends continued to do reiki and send metta from afar. I chanted as many suttas as I could from the little red book to Vixey at the clinic. We also brought Little Chief to see her. He lay beside her, nuzzling her occasionally. Vixey did not show much reaction.

Back home, we had to keep Little Chief company. Without his sister, he had no one to play with. The older cats did not want to play with him. Only Bobby kept him company. By now, the older cats were beginning to accept Little Chief. At least they did not resent him so much. They were willing to be around him and even shared their food with him. I knew my cats would finally relent. It was just a matter of time. After all, they had been brought up with love and kindness. I was confident they would display the same loving-kindness to other animals, if given time and space. I also read that whenever there is a tragedy in the house, cats would rally around to give support by staying home. All my cats came home, and that helped me emotionally

That night I washed the cats' eating bowls and I thought I should keep Vixey's bowl in the cupboard since she would not be coming home for at least a few days more. Or would she ever be coming home again? Then I remembered that I must stay positive and hopeful, so I left Vixey's bowl on the floor. "You're coming home, Vixey, and you're going to step into your bowl again and get your whole face smeared with food." I told myself that my little oh-chou-mou was going to come home again and eat from this bowl.

Day Three – Ming-Yi had come back from university, and we went to see Vixey. She appeared very weak again. My heart dropped - I thought that was a sign of deterioration since no progress had been recorded the previous day. I softly chanted the Itipiso (Salutation to the Buddha) for her to listen. She hardly moved at all.

By afternoon, Dr Vijay came in and I expected bad news. He had earlier told me that if there was no progress after three days, the best option was to have her put down. I prepared myself for the worst, but was determined to take Vixey home and nurse her for life. Surprisingly, Dr Vijay smiled and told me he thought Vixey was strong enough to be discharged! I was overjoyed – this goes to show how our untrained eye perceives things wrongly. Dr Vijay said she was just tired, but her vital signs were good, there WAS progress, and she could be taken off the steroids after one more final dose. Vixey could go home!!

I went home and prepared her cage, got out the hot water bottle, and got all my Buddhist chanting CDs ready for her. I went back to the clinic and helped hold Vixey down as Dr Loh took the intravenous drip out from her arm. Vixey screamed in protest as her fur got pulled out with the plaster. Strong scream. That was a good sign. Dr Vijay said he could not assure me 100% that she would recover completely at this stage, but he was hopeful that with her young age, she would regain all her faculties. There might be some permanent injury or some degree of brain damage. I wondered if Vixey would ever walk again. Only time would tell.

So that night, we brought Vixey home. Bobby was overjoyed to see Vixey again. All the cats came back to see her too, but Bobby guarded the cage from them again, just in case.

I guess Bobby just did not trust them enough.

We settled Vixey comfortably on her warm blanket with the hot water bottle in the cage. Little Chief was so excited, he went inside the cage to nudge at her. I prepared a little bed for him beside her cage and he slept there all night.

Day Four - Vixey could eat from my hand and she even tried to stand up and walk a little, only to fall down again. Her balance still was not good. But to my untrained eye, this was an improvement and I rejoiced. Little Chief continued to sleep beside his sister's cage, guarding her, keeping her company at all times. It touched my heart to see love and caring in one so young, what more in a little kitten. Bobby lay close by too. Seeing so much kindness in my pets, I truly felt that my life was so very blessed.

Day Five - Vixey was sitting up and wagging her tail when I came into the room first thing in the morning. She wanted to come out from her cage. And when I let her out, she walked, faltering at first, then she walked all the way to the newspapers at the far corner of the room (the newspapers served as their "toilet") and did her business there. And then she walked all the way back to her cage and climbed back into her little bed. Dr Loh called to ask how Vixey was doing and was pleased to hear of her progress.

As I look at Vixey regaining her strength and faculties day by day, I continued to marvel at her miraculous recovery and the power of faith and compassion. When all else fails, spirituality helps. And spirituality, as His Holiness the Dalai Lama always says, is not about what religion you profess. Spirituality is all about cultivating that inherent goodness in us, the "Buddha Nature", which all of us have. It is about practising love, compassion and a sense of responsibility to bring happiness to oneself and others.

Vixey's experience taught me the power of chanting too. I had never quite experienced first-hand the solace and comfort that chanting could bring because I had never had to rely on it before. But that night, when I felt so hopeless, chanting brought me solace. I have always believed that alopathic medicine can only do so much. When doctors have done their best, spiritual healing helps very much, if only to bring comfort to our hearts to know that there is always something more we can do for the sick and suffering – to bring forth that love and compassion from our hearts, from the luminous mind which all of us have. And I believe that in Vixey's case, she received so much loving-kindness and compassion from my friends as well. I am convinced that everything contributed to her truly miraculous recovery.

Until today, I am very thankful to Dr Vijay and all the vets at the clinic for having looked after Vixey, for giving me hope, and telling me things as they were. I could put my full trust in Dr Vijay because he had never given me false hope thus far. When Dr Vijay said there was no 100% assurance that Vixey would recover completely, I knew I had to accept this with equanimity, knowing that I had already done my best for her, and the rest was up to her own supportive kamma as well as whatever spiritual help that we could give her.

It is now coming to five months after Vixey’s remarkable recovery. For the first two months, she appeared to be “stunted” and hardly grew. Her eyes were extremely dull and lifeless. She was very quiet but there was this mysterious, and almost sagely and all-knowing demeanour about her during this time, as though saying, “I may be small and weak, but you don’t know just how much I know…” Her looks and demeanour reminded us of Yoda, the Jedi master in Star Wars, so we joked that she might not be growing physically, but she was developing mental powers!

During this time, Little Chief continued to look after Vixey and played with her every day. After the first three months, Vixey began to grow again. It was as though she needed three full months of complete rest to recuperate, and now, she is ready to live (and grow) again. She eats very well now, and is a chubby little ball of fur. She is so pampered that she has three baskets in the house and her private litter box. Little Chief feels left out sometimes, so he looks for his own basket.

In the day time, Vixey still sleeps a lot, but come nightfall, she would be darting to and fro, and even up the stairs. We call her the little “ninja” – because she is jet-black and she darts around so very fast! Now you see me, now you don’t! And Vixey still loves all things electrical. She has now grown too big to hug the adaptors, so she is going for the router and sleeping by the salt lamps. We are aware that it may not be safe for her to sleep too long near these electrical equipments, and she does not stay too long too. But she still tries to squeeze herself into the space between the old hi-fi and the top of the shelf!

Although Little Chief does not monitor Vixey’s every move now, he still watches from afar. And we suspect that Little Chief does not roam on the road because Vixey is always at home. He does not want to be far away from his sister. Little Chief is still very playful and loves to wrestle with Vixey, and although he is now no less than three times her size, Vixey can put up a pretty good fight! Her eyes are still dull, but are slowly regaining the sparkle of life.

By the powers of the Noble Triple Gem, may Vixey continue to progress day by day. By the powers of their kind hearts, may all my friends and my loved ones, Dr Vijay and his team at the clinic have good health and be blessed with caring friends in their lives, just as I have been this time. Thank you, Little Chief and Vixey, and all my rescued animals, for giving me the opportunity to practise the First Ennobler of the Panca Dhamma - to cherish and respect all life.

As my fellow animal-rescuer friend once told me, rescuing and fostering stray animals is a beautiful way to practise the Four Brahmaviharas (Sublime States), as taught by the

Buddha. While we get the opportunity to cultivate our metta (loving-kindness) and karuna (compassion) when we rescue and nurse them, we also practise mudita (altruistic joy) watching them grow up healthily and happily. Then, comes the crowning glory of the Four Brahmaviharas, and that is, upekkha (equanimity), when it is time to hand them over to a new family, or when they are sick and we have done our very best for them, and we have to let the Law of Kamma take over, and somehow find peace and contentment in our own hearts knowing that we have indeed done all that we can.

Life is precious to all,

Putting oneself in the place of another,

One should not harm

Or cause others to do harm.

- Dhammapada, v. 129.

2008-12-11T04:30:00.000-08:00

PAWPRINTS ON MY HEART

Seven little stories about kindness to animals